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From your friends at
Jackson Auto Worx
February 1, 2015
Do you ever ask yourself a question, but never say it out loud?
Check out some of these winners!
Why isn't the number 11
pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
that mean that one out of
five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in
airtight packages? Aren't
they just stale bread to
begin with?
If a pig loses its voice, is
it disgruntled?
If it's true that we are
here to help others, then
what exactly are the others
here for?
If Fed Ex and UPS were
to merge, would they call it
Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees
take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they
put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
Is it true that you never
really learn to swear until
you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would
milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to
Preparations A through G?
Why, Why, Why do we
press harder on the remote
control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a
fee due to insufficient funds;
when they already
know you're broke?
Why is it that
when someone tells
you that there are
one billion stars in
the universe you believe them, but if they tell
you there is wet paint you
have to touch it to check?
Why doesn't Tarzan have
a beard?
Why does Superman stop
bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Whose cruel idea was it
to put an "s" in the word
"lisp"?
If people evolved from
apes, why are there still
apes?
Why is it that, no matter
what color bubble bath you
use, the bubbles are always
white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will
have materialized?
Why do people run
over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach
down, pick it up, examine it
and then put it down to give
the vacuum one more
chance?
Why is it that no plastic
bag will ever open from the
first end you try? How do those dead bugs
get into the enclosed light
fixtures?
How come you never
hear father-in-law jokes?
We’re growing
Trivial Matters:
because people like you
Win $25 In Free Gas
refer us to your family
Many hamsters only “_ _ _ _ _” one eye at a time
and friends.
Call 336-750-0006 or send your solution
THANK YOU,
to this Trivial Matter to
Roger Richardson
[email protected]
We appreciate your
for a chance to win a Free $25 GAS CARD.
support & can’t wait to
serve you again!
Braking News
wwwJacksonAutoWorx.com
Everyone got together and decided that the
average parent...
Thank You!
A very special thanks
goes out to our
Client of the Month:
Ben Loebner
We know there are a lot of
choices when it comes to
your vehicle’s repair, and
we are truly honored by
the trust you have placed
in us. Thanks again! We
couldn’t do it without the
support of great clients
like you!
A
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has eaten their weight in Girl Scout cookies.
has at least two backup recipes for play-doh.
has Pizza Hut on speed dial.
has prepared more than 10,000 servings of macaroni
and cheese.
unconsciously hums at least three children's show
theme songs a day.
can take construction paper, glue, pudding cups and
aluminum foil and make a delightful table centerpiece.
can produce from their pocket/purse at least 12
Legos, 3 hot wheels cars, and a Barbie shoe at any
given time.
has at least one child induced stain on the clothing
they are currently wearing.
secretly hopes that whoever thought up 3 months for
summer vacation gets attacked by a pack of marauding wolverines.
knows that a suspiciously sweet, "Mommy, I love you"
means," I have just decorated your new head
board/carpet/dress/suit with all your makeup."
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young man called his
mother and announced
excitedly that he had just
met the woman of his
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dreams. Now what should he
do?
His mother had an idea:
"Why don't you send her
flowers, and on the card invite her to your
place for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later.
His mother called the day after
the big date to see how things
had gone.
"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.
"Why, didn't she come over?" asked his
mother.
"Oh, she came over, but she refused to
cook..."
“Television won’t last because
people will soon get tired of staring at
a plywood box every night.”
-
Page 2
Darryl Zanuck, 1946
February 1, 2015
wwwJacksonAutoWorx.com
Page 3
Punxsutawney Phil Facts in
honor of Groundhog Day!
He was president?!?! Oh,
yeah, I remember now!
The average groundhog is 20 inches
long and normally weighs from 12 to 15
pounds. Punxsutawney Phil weighs about
20 pounds and is 22 inches long.
Groundhogs are covered with coarse
grayish hairs (fur) tipped with brown or
sometimes dull red.
They have short ears, a short tail,
short legs, and are surprisingly quick.
Their jaws are exceptionally strong.
A groundhog can whistle when it is
alarmed. Groundhogs also whistle in the
spring when they begin courting.
A groundhog's life span is normally 6
to 8 years. Phil receives a drink of a
magical punch every summer during the
Annual Groundhog Picnic, which gives
him 7 more years of life.
Punxsutawney held its first Groundhog Day in the 1800's. The first official
trek to Gobbler's Knob made on February
2nd, 1887.
So the story goes, Punxsutawney Phil
was named after King Phillip. Prior to being called Phil, he was called Br'er
Groundhog.
A groundhog's diet consists of lots of
greens, fruits, and vegetables and very
little water. Most of their liquids come
from dewy leaves.
Insects do not bother groundhogs and
germs pretty much leave them alone.
They are resistant to the plagues that
periodically wipe out large numbers of
wild animals.
See if you can find all of the Presidents
in the word search below!
Could You Do Us A Favor?
Our business was built on the kind words many of our clients say about us to their friends and family. And since we’re
looking to grow a little more, we could use your help right about now. If you know of someone who needs help with
their vehicle—someone who’s looking for a place they can trust—won’t you please tell them about us? We know you
really appreciate the way we look out for your family by all the thanks we get. And sharing us with your closest friends
and family is the most sincere form of appreciation we know. So do both your friends and us a favor by giving them one
of our referral cards. You will benefit as well by knowing your loved ones are in good hands—not to mention our gift to
you for your kind actions. Thank You!
Braking News is a free monthly newsletter from your friends at:
Jackson Auto Worx
811 N Cherry St
Winston Salem, NC 27101
336-750-00006
wwwJacksonAutoWorx.com
Turn the page to...
Check out Questions everyone has asked at least
once!
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Read up on some average parent facts!
03
Discover some Groundhog Facts.
February 2015
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February 2 –Groundhog Day
February 14– Valentine’s Day
February 16—Presidents Day
Win $25 Gift
See page 1 for details!
Last Month’s Winner -
Chris Craig
February 1, 2015
A
wwwJacksonAutoWorx.com
n organization of city women, met and decided that
this month's outing was to be at a dairy farm. Most of
them had lived in the city all their lives, and had never seen such a place.
The day came for the trip, and the ladies filed into the
rented bus which whisked them off to their destination. On
the way, they watched out the windows as the city squalor
turned into lovely, unpolluted countryside.
After they arrived, they were greeted by the farmer who
invited them to look him up should they have any questions.
Laura, after looking about, and being amazed by what she
saw, stepped into a building and viewed something she
thought was quite remarkable. She saw the farmer walk by
and hailed him -- he sauntered in.
"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any
horns?"
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in
a patient tone: "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of
damage with horns. Sometimes we keep' em trimmed down
with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young'uns by
puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow
in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of
cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't
have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
O
Page 4
ne evening Mary was
driving her eight-yearold daughter to Grandmas
house for an overnight stay.
It was late, there was very
little traffic, and Mary and
her daughter were enjoying a
peaceful ride. It was a far cry
from the usual chaos surrounding them when she
would drive her to various
activities during rush hour.
Her daughter
seemed deep in
thought when
she said, "I have
a question."
"What do you
want to know?" Mary responded.
"When you're driving," she
asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"