1. Art and Diseño

10
Ways to
Eliminate
DRAMA
From
Your Life
10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
10 Ways to Eliminate Drama from Your Life
Copyright © 2015
All rights reserved.
No portion of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted
in any form or by any means, nor stored within a database or retrieval system,
without exclusive and written permission of the publisher.
Written by: Susan D. Goudy
Editorial & Design: Anne Violette
Contact: www.susangoudy.com
You can leave me an email and I will
get back to you.
2
10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
10 Ways to Eliminate
Drama from Your Life
Do you feel as though too much drama in your life is draining your time, energy and
making it difficult to go about your day? Do the problems from drama often consume
your thoughts, when you should be working on something more constructive?
Drama can lead to sleeplessness, stress, anxiety, loss of appetite, illness and can certainly
put a damper on all aspects of your life. When drama finds its way to your doorstep,
you have a choice to either shut the door or let it in.
Before you learn how to eliminate drama, the first thing you must do is recognize its
existence to begin with. Most people who suffer from a life of drama often feel as
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
though they are an innocent bystander. They feel like victims of it and do not
understand their role in allowing the drama to come into their lives.
People who experience a lot of drama may say things like:

“But it’s not my fault; I just got wrapped up in someone else’s problems.”

“I didn’t want it to go this far, I was only trying to help.”

“I didn’t find drama. It found me.”

“I can’t help it. I live under the same roof with the person who brings drama to
me and I have no choice.”

“My coworkers bring drama to work. I try to stay out of it, but they always bring
me in.”

“I feel bad because my best friend has all of these problems and I just want to
help, but I’m tired of all the drama. It gives me a headache.”

“I don’t know how to get rid of all this drama or how it came here in the first
place.”
The majority of people desire a life of peace and happiness. Most people do not search
for drama, nor do they ask for it or want it. Yet, they find themselves in the midst of
drama, without any rhyme or reason. Some refuse to look in the mirror and realize that
the drama might be caused by the person staring back. Are you one of those people?
Believe it or not, there are a few desirable aspects of drama. It can add a certain level of
excitement to your life. Some people actually thrive on drama. They live for the highs
and lows it gives them. They do
not know how to live without it.
Maybe it is because they had to
face a lot of drama in their
childhood
or
within
their
households. Maybe they did
not know any other way to
behave, or perhaps they came
from a family whose lives were
constantly
turbulence.
4
in
turmoil
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
To some, a life without drama would seem boring. They let the drama come in because
they need to be stimulated, so they inadvertently seek drama without thinking about the
potential for negative consequences. Drama is something they have learned to create
on a regular basis. If you are one of those people who constantly gets bombarded with
drama, then drama has become almost
a “life force” for you. Perhaps it has even
become comfortable; because it is
familiar. If you have experienced a lot of
drama in your life, then the energy of
drama becomes almost like oxygen. You
need drama to survive. Drama gets you
moving, like a mad adrenaline rush.
Much like a cup of coffee that jacks you
up with a jolt of caffeine, the drama also
gets your blood pumping. Without that
cup of coffee, you feel listless and hohum; almost lethargic. After you drink it,
your blood starts flowing through your
veins. Hence, you become addicted to
the coffee. People who experience a lot
of drama often seek the high, but then
after the jolt of adrenaline wears off,
they feel more exhausted than they did
before consuming it.
And that is exactly what drama does… it consumes you.
There are times in your life when drama is unavoidable. It will find its way to your door,
and it will knock and knock and knock until you open the door. “Go Away!” You may be
thinking, and yet a part of you is curious. “I don’t need these problems! “What is this
about? Why is this drama here?”
The sticky thing about drama is that it can become a snowball. One small incident or
misunderstanding can turn into a big ordeal, especially if people fail to communicate.
Drama leads to bad feelings, insecurities, depression, fear, loss of friendships and
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
relationships, negativity; or worse. Just ask anyone who is broken, bitter, or down and
out.
Some people let drama consume them to the point where they let the most important
or meaningful people go as a result. And sometimes, this is okay, as long as the healing
of the loss is done through positive outlets.
For example, if an individual has a special friend or family member who becomes
addicted to narcotics, alcohol or has some other personal issues that cause them to go
down a wrong path, it is only natural that you would want to step in and help this
person. But before you eagerly agree, ask yourself, “What could this cost me?” If the
answer is big things, such as your career, your children, your spouse or other special and
meaningful things, then you should seriously reconsider. Don’t let other people’s drama
destroy your life. There are ways you can help someone without becoming intimately
involved in their drama.
Another
example
comes
with
relationships. We’ve all known or had
friends who fell in love with or
became involved with someone who
was not right for them. They may
obsess about it and call you for
support, which is fine, as long as their
own personal issues or drama does
not suck you in. Drama only becomes
a problem if you get involved in it,
rather than taking an outsider’s perspective. It is okay to be supportive or to extend a
hand of friendship, but if your friend asks you to participate, then at this point you are
allowing the drama to come through your door. You become actively involved and
engaged in drama, whether you want to be or not.
Drama is all around you. It can be found at your child’s elementary school, when parents
start badmouthing other children or ganging up against a teacher they do not like. It
can be found at work, when coworkers gossip about other staff members behind their
backs. It can even be found at church and other places you would least expect.
So, here are 10 Ways to Eliminate Drama from Your Life!
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#10: IDENTIFY THE SOURCE
The most difficult aspect of
eliminating drama from your life
is in this step. Being completely,
totally honest and forthright
about your role in drama will
help you to identify where it
originally stemmed from. For
some
people,
it
may
have
started a decade or more ago.
For others, it may be something
more recent, such as a few
months to a year.
You will have to privately think
about and identify where the source of the drama is coming from. Keep in mind that it
may be more than one thing causing the drama in your life, because the irony about
drama is that it often snowballs into bigger and worse scenarios as it progresses. What
started out as one minor issue may have turned into a major ordeal. We can see
evidence of this simply by watching the six o’clock news on any given evening. There is
drama in politics, education, security, financial sectors and everywhere, although their
issues may be much different than your drama.
Once you identify where the drama is coming from, you can…
#9: START SHUTTING THE DOOR
You have identified one or more sources of drama. Now, it is time to start shutting the
door. You do not have to open the door and allow drama to come in and pervade your
personal space.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
For
example,
if
you
have
identified most of your drama
coming from a certain friend
who always calls to gossip or
talk about bad news, stop
answering the phone. If your
Facebook friends are always
posting
negative
comments
that get you riled up, then
defriend
them.
If
your
coworkers invite you to lunch
and then start engaging in a
conversation about how mean
and rotten your boss is, then
start bringing a lunchbox or
going to the park. Wouldn’t it
be more enjoyable to watch people laughing and having a nice walk in the fresh air than
to listen to your coworkers bitching about how much they hate their jobs? Of course!
If the drama is happening in your own home, this is a little trickier. You may have to do
some serious soul searching to come up with a solution to eliminate the drama from
your own home. You can start by not reacting and responding to drama in your home
and making yourself scarce as it starts to appear. There are other options for dealing
with drama in your own home. If you need help, you can contact me for a consultation.
The point here is that you DO have choices. You do not have to be a victim. You do not
have to succumb to drama. The next time drama comes knocking, whether it is in the
form of a phone call or a physical situation, just imagine a big, heavy door that you are
shutting. “Goodbye, Drama! And Good Riddance!”
Then, clap and wipe your hands clean for the full effect. 
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#8: TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY
FOR YOUR ROLE
Going back to the beginning, it is a very common human quality to push away our own
role in any drama. This is when honesty is imperative, or you will never fully eliminate
drama in your life. It can be tough to swallow your own pride and own up to some of
the actions you have made that contributed to the drama you have manifested.
Yet, identifying your own responsibility has everything to do with what you have
attracted to you. When you contribute to drama, then you increase its power tenfold.
For example, if you are visiting with your neighbors and they start talking about what a
terrible kid so-and-so’s teenager turned out to be, and you agree, or start giving
examples of things you have “heard about” him doing, then you are not only engaging
in gossip and negativity, you
are now part of the drama.
Suppose the mother of this
teen hears about the rumors
and asks you where you heard
such things? You can see how
taking part in these types of
conversations can snowball.
The rumors get bigger and
more
profound
in
groups,
which can lead to drama for
everyone who takes part in it.
Next time you feel that someone is trying to knock on your door with drama, remember
to shut the door! Do not participate. If at all possible, simply change the subject or go
do something else for a few minutes until the conversation is over.
Be conscious of drama as it is happening.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#7: MAKE DAY-TO-DAY
ADJUSTMENTS
You’ve heard it before. Take one day at a time. This truly applies to drama, as it may try
to knock on your door every day; sometimes more than once. For some people, you
may have to take it moment-by-moment, rather than day by day. Take baby steps.
As tempting as it may be, you don’t have to respond to every Facebook post or every
text that someone sends you. You do not always have to get “the last word” in. There
are people out there who try to elicit drama. They are instigators and some really enjoy
and
thrive
on
getting
feedback, whether negative
or not. Shut the door! Feel
the relief of a drama-free
existence, at least for that
moment.
Before you know it, those
day-to-day actions become
weeks. Once you can live in
a drama-free life for a week
straight, you will start to feel
better. You will remember
how “yucky” it feels when
drama knocks on your door again, which it surely will. Your life will start feeling more
carefree and you may find a renewed sense of confidence and conviction. You will
become more productive and less apt to wear the weight of the world on your
conscious. Soon, the drama will be “other people’s drama”, but it will not be yours.
Then, you can start reaching out and making new friendships…
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#6: FORGE NEW FRIENDSHIPS
AND CONNECTIONS
After you eliminate the people or things that cause you the most drama, it may give you
some sense of relief. If there happens to be a lot of them, you may even feel a little bit
lonely. Fear not. This is a journey of self-reflection, as you embark upon a new path of
drama-free, positivity.
Now you will be free to make new
connections
with
like-minded
individuals who share your goal of
living drama-free. If you are not sure
what that looks or feels like, just
observe the world around you. Do you
see certain people who always seem to
have a smile on their face? Have you
met people who always have a great
attitude, no matter what the weather
or the situation calls for? Do you know people who you cannot imagine or think of
anything negative to say, or who are liked by everyone? Look for people who do not
have enemies, as these are typically people who are less likely to get involved in any
drama. They are the type of people who shut the door on drama as a daily practice and
who have a likeable demeanor.
Surround yourself with positive friends who “see the glass half full” instead of half empty.
Sometimes you have to start new circles from scratch. Join groups who enjoy the things
you enjoy and stay away from the people who drain your energy, resources and time.
There are plenty of people out there who live drama free. You do not have to be
alone in your desire to eliminate or dismiss the negativity that has entered into your life.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#5: DO WHAT MAKES YOU
FEEL GOOD
You already know that living a life of drama does not make you feel good. In fact, it may
cause you headaches, illness, sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, worry, regret, and other
negative qualities. When you see someone who has a lot of drama in their life, they
often carry an angry facial expression. They may yell or cry a lot. They may drown their
woes with pills or alcohol and other self-destructive measures. They may feel as though
their life is not their own or that they have no control over it.
Although this sounds rather severe, it is an unfortunate reality in today’s world. Many
people feel lost, hopeless or despair over the problems they face. Drama can eat you
alive and take over your entire person. Now, it is
time to take back your power!
You can start doing this simply by participating
in the things you enjoy. You do not have to be a
victim. People make excuses sometimes for not
living their lives the way they would prefer to be
living. As mentioned in Tip #7, you can start by
making simple, day-to-day adjustments.
Do what makes YOU happy, rather than doing
what everyone else expects of you. If it makes
you happy to go for a walk and clear your head,
do it. If you enjoy getting engrossed in a good
book, go for it. If you like watching funny
movies but your spouse likes watching horror
movies, just go to a separate room and do what
you like. You do not have to do anything you
don’t like doing or that does not make you feel
good. In fact, you SHOULD SAY NO to these
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
things you dislike.
Take a lesson from a dog or a young child. For example, spend some time observing a
dog for a while. For our canine friends, the whole purpose is to have fun and enjoy life.
Dogs want to be outside, chase a ball, have a belly rub and slumber in the sun. Dogs
indulge in lots of siestas. I think our furry friends are definitely on the right track. Dogs
also love to put their heads out the car window. People who own convertibles, on the
other hand, rarely put the top down for fear of messing up hairdos. Dogs appear to
treasure every waking and sleeping moment. Have you ever watched young children at
play? The kids are all about having fun, there is no other agenda. Both dogs and
children when allowed to decide for themselves, do what makes them feel good minus
any drama.
What does this have to do with living a drama-free life? Everything!
Eliminating drama is about taking back your authentic self and becoming the person
you want to be. It is about saying “No” to those people who try to bring you down or
suck you into the drama of their own lives. Although they may not do it intentionally –
just as you would not attract drama into your own life purposefully – the point here is
that by starting to enjoy the things that matter most to you, it will naturally bring you a
greater sense of peace, self-confidence, satisfaction, happiness, and all of those other
great qualities you so desire. Drama takes away from these qualities; drama really
doesn’t feel good… and by now you know that.
Doing what makes you feel good more often will naturally equate to less drama in
your life.
#4: CONNECT WITH YOUR
SOURCE
We all have different beliefs, and some of us believe in God. Some of us choose to call it
something else. This book is not about religion or Christianity. It is about eliminating
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
drama… but no matter what your beliefs are, you must connect with a higher source that
can bring you that sense of peace and tranquility you need.
The Universe is a magnificent place, and there is no question that there is a source of
energy from a higher power that makes our existence possible. There are negative
energies and positive energies. Sounds like some of the people we know, doesn’t it?
When you put yourself in negative energy fields,
you will be aligned for more problems. It is
simple physics and has nothing to do with
religion whatsoever. So, eliminating drama from
your life; either by doing activities you enjoy
and/or by surrounding yourself with positive
people can only lead to a happier existence. But
there is another element here that you must
consider.
Reflection and connection with the source
requires effort. Meditation is a great way to
send out those positive wavelengths and can
help you clear your mind from negativity. Some
people find that taking a spiritual class, yoga, or
even getting a relaxing massage will put them
in that meditative mindset. You need time to
think; as this is the time that new ideas will flow
to you. If you are constantly rushing to get from
one place to the next, your mind does not have a chance to connect and reflect.
Connecting to your source reminds you that you are never alone, so while going
through this process of eliminating drama, this step can be a life saver and keep you on
track.
Sometimes we feel guilty for taking any time to do this, but as humans we were not
designed for non-stop activity. Our bodies need to rest. There is a reason why drama
causes stress, anxiety and depression, because it keeps our bodies in a constant state of
turbulence.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
If you want to achieve mental clarity and focus, this step is highly recommended as part
of the process of eliminating drama from your life. You may also find that you will have
fewer health issues, which is another unexpected benefit of living a life that is dramafree
#3: BE YOUR UPLIFTING,
HAPPY SELF
At this point, you have most certainly become lighter, happier and capable of uplifting
others, because you have reduced the drama in your life enough to realize how much
better you feel without it. If you are the enabler who gets sucked in by drama, then
keeping those friends and acquaintances in your life that thrive on drama (We’ll refer to
them as “the miserable ones”) might be near to impossible for you at this point, because
you take on their stuff as your own.
Although you may be trying to be the good
friend who is loyal, sweet and nice, please....
Give it up!
Being an enabler only makes you as
miserable as the miserable person you are
trying to rescue. Perhaps you might even
become more miserable than they are,
because you can’t change anything for the
miserable one.
You’ve probably given Mr. or Ms. Miserable
sound advice. Mr. or Ms. Miserable never
listens to you, but you keep going back for
more. You are okay. It is good to be a good
friend, but there is a better way. Be there
for your friend as the positive, uplifting
person you are, but don’t join them in their
misery. This will only perpetuate the
situation. Your miserable friend might even
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
try to have a contest with you over who has the worst out of two miserable situations.
The contest could be something as silly as, “My sore toe is worse than your sore toe”. If
your miserable friend doesn’t want to hear your positive point of view, he or she will let
you know. Suddenly, he or she will remember to pick their dog up from the groomer or
quickly have to leave for an appointment. Any excuse will pop up!
Over time, Mr. or Ms. Miserable may decide
not to remain friends with you, because you
refuse to play the misery game. Don’t
despair. You are probably both better off.
You will unload baggage that wasn’t the
right weight and size to take with you. You
will be free to go on with your journey
through life without their drama. Eventually,
these miserable ones may discover their own
map with directions to a drama-free life, but
only when they run out of other places to
go.
You certainly don’t have to end your
friendship. Just don’t sacrifice yourself for it. Be true to yourself and remain in your own
positive burst of joy, hoping others will follow your example. If these friends stick
around, they will probably start asking how or what you do to have such a wonderful
life. That’s when the fun will really begin in this co-created friendship.
The Law of Attraction is always working. What you think about is attracted to you.
Remember that you are a magnet. What you think about, you bring about. Start to
expect good things – even fantastic things – to happen; and watch your world change.
Visualize your friends being calm, peaceful and uplifting and soon, the drama they
normally bring your way will no longer be present in your relationship with them. Yes,
they might still like to have drama in their own life, but they won’t bring it around you.
Think of the times when these people have not been so dramatic. When you see them
exclusively this way, then it is guaranteed to be the only way they will show up in your
life.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
Here’s an example of a trick you can use to be more uplifting, while eliminating drama:
Imagine you’re in a coffee shop with a
group
of
friends
having
a
nice
conversation and the conversation takes
a turn toward drama. You have choices
here; you can join in and contribute to
the drama conversation, or you can
change the subject to something lighter
and drama-free. You will have to gauge
“when” it is appropriate to change the
subject. Others will follow your lead,
because you will not be the only one
there who would rather keep the conversation upbeat. The other choice you have is to
say nothing and make some excuse for why you need to get going. This alternative
choice might be what you end up doing if the conversation doesn’t turn around. Either
way, the best decision is to not participate in the drama. There is no need to be
confrontational or rude, just don’t “join them”. Yes, your best defense as you are
eliminating drama from your life is to avoid it as much as possible and eventually it just
won’t show up anymore. You are putting out a very strong message to the Universe
which is; “Drama Be Gone!” and by your actions, you will be heard. If you are no longer
interested in drama and do not give it any attention, it will no longer be attracted to
you. The Law of attraction is always working.
#2: FEEL WORTHY
Know that you are worthy of the best that love and life has to offer. Recognize an
absolute truth, which is, you are perfect, beautiful, powerful, valued, unconditionally
loved, deserving and worthy of having a wonderfully fantastic life!! You were born
worthy and somewhere along the way you forgot this truth. If drama has drained you
and bogged you down, you may not even realize that you are worthy. Drama certainly
doesn’t feel good and if you don’t feel good then you certainly don’t feel worthy. If you
have a lot of drama in your life, you may have developed a “victim” mentality, which
means that you feel like everything in the world is stacked up against you. It seems that
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
way sometimes, especially when you get sucked into a situation that you wish you
would have avoided because it is loaded with drama.
This is true when it comes to your career, relationships, and friendships. We all have
second thoughts when it comes to some of the choices we have made. Maybe you have
remained working for a company that you don’t enjoy, whose principles don’t mesh with
your own values and beliefs. There is constant drama; yet, the stability of a paycheck
keeps you chained to the job indefinitely. You feel afraid to quit because you aren’t sure
if you can make it on your own.
Take back
your power. Say, “I AM WORTHY!” and truly
mean it. When you feel worthy, you can attract
a different job; one that is drama free and
you’ll love!
We all make a wrong turn sometimes. It’s time
to take a different path, go a new direction and
remember that other people’s problems do not
have to be yours. You should never let another
human being and their issues take control of
your life to the point that you forget your own
value and worth. Take back your power! You
may not be able to control others, but you can control your actions and reactions. This is
your life and you have choices. Say, “I AM WORTHY!” and truly mean it.
Drama offers endless examples. The choices we have made in friendships that led us to
bad circumstances, or the anger over parents who failed us, or the siblings who did
something not-so-nice, etc. These are life problems and very real problems indeed, but
they do not have to define us or prevent us from moving forward. By truly feeling
worthy of the best that love and life has to offer, drama will no longer exist in your life. It
can’t, because drama and having a true sense of worthiness do not go hand-in-hand.
They are not attracted to each other. Feel worthy and you will be free from drama.
This brings us to #1…
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
#1: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
You’ve made great progress now.
You have identified the source of
the drama and made a decision to
shut the door on it. You have
acknowledged your role and taken
responsibility for your part in it. You
are taking one day at a time and
living in the present.
Maybe you have also reached out to
new connections and observed what
they are doing in their lives to be
drama-free. You started doing little
things for yourself more, such as
exercising, reading, or taking more
time to pamper you. Maybe you
even
started
meditating
and
uplifting others by being your uplifting happy self. Your drama free, happy self will be
contagious and a wonderful gift to give to others. You feel much better overall. And
now you know… that you are worth it!
There is one last lesson for you to learn. It is the most important and appropriately the
#1 way to eliminate drama from your life. In order to completely eliminate drama from
your life, you must love yourself first. If you do not love you, then you will never be able
to love other people. This is why a lot of drama exists in the first place.
People judge and criticize themselves. When you are hard on yourself and judge and
criticize yourself, it is only natural that you will do the same to others. How you treat
yourself is naturally how you will treat others. You also invite drama and misery into
your life when you don’t love yourself first. You teach others how to treat you, so, if you
are not treating yourself well, then others learn to do the same. Before you know it, in
comes all the drama and misery.
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
When you love yourself first, drama and misery is not attracted to you. Just like disease
and illnesses can only thrive in a toxic or unhealthy environment, drama and misery can
only thrive in individuals who do not love themselves.
Taking care of yourself and doing the things that make you feel good are both great
examples of loving yourself first. For example, I am a mother of four children and have
always exercised. By exercising, I love myself first, which makes me a better mother,
friend, sister and wife. I can truly love others when I love myself first. I have taken care
of me, which makes me feel fulfilled, energized, and ready to love others.
Everyone benefits when you love yourself first. If you try to go out and do for everyone
else, such as being the best mother, worker, or student, but you have not loved yourself
first, all of the above will eventually crumble. Loving yourself first is the foundation of
everything you have in your life. You don’t expect your home to last if it is built on a
poor foundation, do you?
“I do not trust people who don’t
love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I
love you.’ There is an African
saying, which is: ‘Be careful when
a naked person offers you a
shirt.’”
--Maya Angelo
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10 Ways to Eliminate Drama From Your Life
CONCLUSION
When researching topics to present to you, I discovered that so many people live in a
world filled with personal drama, most of which is senseless. We fill our minds with
articles we read on the internet, or news we watch on TV, or the judgments and actions
of other people who we do not agree with. It is time that we all started living the life we
are so deserving of, drama free, joyful and filled with love! Now you know this is an
option so, I hope you’ll choose it.
Please write to me if you have any questions you would like answered. I also offer
coaching and consulting to help people move beyond their fears and into the lives they
have been longing to live. Join Me!
“Love builds up the broken wall and straightens the crooked path.
Love keeps the stars in the firmament and imposes rhythm on the ocean tides
Each of us is created of it, and I suspect
Each of us was created for it.”
--Maya Angelo
----------------------------------------------------Sue Goudy grew up in Chicago, Illinois, and earned
a bachelor’s and a master’s degree in social work
from Arizona State University. With a strong
background in psychology, counseling, and social
work, as well as certifications in neuro-physical
reprogramming,
bio-energetic
synchronization
technique, and psychological kinesiology (Psych-K),
Susan works to heal physical, as well as deeprooted emotional issues. Her many years of
experience are featured in her writing. She lives in
Colorado with her husband, Ben, and their four
beautiful children, Samantha, Steven, Alexander,
and Mariah. Contact her for a consultation today:
719-822-1248.
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