1. Art and Diseño

Ultima Vez
What the Body Does Not Remember
Tue 17 Feb
Justin Vivian Bond
Love Is Crazy
Wed 18 Feb
Josie Long
Thu 19 Feb
Trio Da Kali
Sun 1 Mar
The Unthanks
Wed 4 Mar
Mark Thomas
Cuckooed
Thu 5 Mar
Underworld
Sat 7 Mar
Michael Clark Company
animal / vegetable / mineral
Wed 11 Mar
Dr John and the Nite Trippers
Thu 12 Mar
Tim Crouch
I, Malvolio
Fri 13 - Sat 14 Mar
Uninvited Guests
This Last Tempest
Fri 20 - Sat 21 Mar
Sam Lee
Sat 28 Mar
Chris Thorpe
Confirmation
Sat 4 Apr
Wendy Houstoun
Pact with Pointlessness
Tue 14 Apr
brightondome.org
01273 709 709
vivabrighton
Issue 24. Feb 2015
editorial
...................................................................................
Back in the 80s tattoos were fairly rare, most often seen
on the arms of long-distance lorry drivers, or merchant
seamen, or dockers, or convicts, or bikers. By and large a
male thing; by and large a working class thing, by and large
something designed to indicate how hard the tattoo wearer
was. And then there were the tattoos themselves: ‘Mum’ was
a favourite, or an anchor, or the name of your girlfriend or
wife over a love heart (not necessarily the best idea, that one). Then came the nineties, when
male and female pop stars and hipsters started getting them, too. Followed by the noughties,
when, in an ecstasy-fuelled burst of what-the-hellness, they went more street. Finally the teenies,
or whatever you call this decade, arrived. Now, if you’re between 20 and 40, particularly round
these parts, it seems a bit odd if you don’t have a tattoo. Even Samantha Cameron has one (a dolphin on her ankle, in case you didn’t know). Have you got one? If not, why not? Do you think
they are uncouth? Tasteless? Scary? Unremovable? Are you wary of commitment? Or do you
just want to make a statement of your individuality by remaining ink-free? Whatever the case,
Brighton, of course, punches above its weight in the tattoo department, and to mark the annual
Brighton Tattoo Convention this month, we’re celebrating all things tat (or should that be ‘tatt’).
Oh, and Valentine’s Day falls in February, too, so there’s something of a ‘love’ theme weaving in
and out of the pages, as well. ‘Love and tats’; now that has a ring. Enjoy the issue…
The Team
.....................
EDITOR: Alex Leith [email protected]
DEPUTY EDITOR: Steve Ramsey [email protected]
ART DIRECTOR: Katie Moorman [email protected]
PHOTOGRAPHER AT LARGE: Adam Bronkhorst
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT: Rebecca Cunningham
ADVERTISING: Anya Zervudachi [email protected], Nick Metcalf [email protected],
CONTRIBUTORS: Black Mustard, Joe Decie, Nione Meakin, Chloë King, John Helmer, Ben Bailey, Lizzie Enfield
PUBLISHERS: Nick Williams [email protected], Lizzie Lower [email protected]
Viva Magazines is based at 52 Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex BN1 1AF
For advertising enquiries call 07596 337 828
Every care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of our content. We cannot be held responsible for any omissions, errors or alterations.
contents
...............................
Bits and bobs.
57
9-19. A peek at Brighton’s toilet graffiti, the Heart and Hand pub, Joe Decie
comic strip and Queen Victoria’s visits
to the Pavilion.
Photography.
21-25. Estonian photographer Oleg
Pulemjotov captures the diversity of
In town this month.
‘Brighton Folk’ in their natural state.
37-49. Comedian Rosie Wilby on
Columns.
monogamy, scientific ‘psychic’ Caro-
26-29. Chloë King’s first tattoo expe-
line Watt, comedy-improv group Aus-
rience, John Helmer’s dry-cleaning
tentatious, stand-up comedians Josie
and Lizzie Enfield’s North Village.
Long and Omid Djalili, Supergrass
frontman Gaz Coombes, The Jesus &
My Brighton.
Mary Chain, Beki Bondage, and crime
30-31. Wet-footed experimental
author Peter James.
playwright Tim Crouch.
Literature.
Brighton in history.
50-53. An interview with best-selling
32-35. The turbulent love story of
author SJ Watson, debut novelist Jo
George IV and Mrs Fitzherbert.
Bloom and this month’s Flash-Fact
winner.
Art, design and makers.
55-57. Colin Ruffell on combining
acrylic paint with digital techniques,
embroidery designer Jenny King,
candle-making couple Corpo Sancto
and jewellery designer and maker
Chris Hawkins.
Work, shopping… and
‘comping’.
59-69. Di Coke gives us the low-
23
down on winning competitions, an
....
4....
contents
...............................
interview with professional domina-
75
trix Dometria, local jeweller Julian
Stephens on being a creative in business, and Martin Skelton’s new shop
dedicated to independent magazines.
The way we work.
71-77. Adam Bronkhorst captures
some of Brighton’s best-known tattoo
artists at work.
Food.
78-86. Coffee and cake at Presuming
Ed, The Regency, Semolina chef Orson Whitfield, the new Croque Shop
on Duke St, the Chimney House and
78
this month’s food news.
Health and fitness.
87- 93. Founder of Paddle Round the
Pier David Samuels, bike shop Rule 5
Bikes, 70s footballer Steve Piper, and
we try handball.
A coffee with...
94-95. Richard Robinson of the
Brighton Science Festival.
Bricks and mortar.
96-97. Ex-army base Wykeham
Terrace, and the Old Police Cells
Museum.
Inside left.
98. Joby and the Hooligans in the
Brighton Resource Centre vaults.
98
....
5....
this month’s cover art
..........................................
This month’s cover is by Ruth Herbert, a tattoo artist who has recently
set up her own studio, Love the
Rock, on the mezzanine level of the
Open Market. “My brief was to do
something Valentinesy, but I didn’t
want it to sidle off into soppiness,”
she tells us, rather eloquently, “so I
decided to base the design on the
idea of an old anatomical woodcut
of a human heart.” It’s an image
she’s been playing around with for a bit, both as
the basis of a tattoo, and as the logo for her studio.
“I looked at pictures of hearts, then took some
sketches, then took everything away and drew it
from memory,” she says. The font is adapted from
one she found on the internet, but that’s about
as far as her computer was involved in the process. “I photocopied the images,” she continues,
“and stuck them onto a deep-red piece of card.”
What, with Pritt Stik? “Yes, with Pritt Stick, and
....
scissors.” As you can see, she experimented with various compositions
before opting for the final version.
Ruth has come to tattoo art fairly recently, having done a fine art degree,
and worked as a sculptor, and had
kids. “It’s refreshing to work in two
dimensions again,” she says, “and
tattooing has changed immensely
recently, with genuine artists taking
up the needle. It’s nice that what was
once a traditional genre is having its boundaries
pushed.” So does she have any particular influences when it comes to her own tattoo art? “I’m
influenced by everything around me, not by any
particular artwork,” she says, before showing us
some woodblock-like tattoo work by Duncan
X. We love the analogue feel of what she’s created for us, and its raw but aesthetically pleasing
punch: you can see more of Ruth’s work on her
Facebook page ‘Love The Rock’.
7....
BOUTI
UE
THE SMARTER
WAY TO SELL
Estate agency,
tailored for you.
01273 622664
CALL FOR
A FREE PROPERTY
CONSULTATION
bits and bobs
...............................
Photo by Alan Griffiths
Photo courtesy of the James Gray Collection
where are they now?
In our December issue we showed a picture of the Sea Life Centre being rebuilt in 1928/9; in the forefront
were three statues representing seasons, presumably being salvaged to be erected in another space. We
wondered two things: where was the fourth, and where did the statues end up? Two readers, Elizabeth Garrett
and Tony Norman, have contacted us to half-answer the first question (or two-thirds answer it, to be more
accurate). Two of the statues, it seems, ended up in the Rose Garden near the Rotunda café in Preston Park.
Recently, offers Tony, the statues were painted a ‘somewhat surprising’ gold and black. Anyone know the
whereabouts of the other two?
P U B toilet graffiti # 1
Name that pub toilet! With thanks to our toiletgraffiti correspondents Fan Fan and Thomas.
....
9....
style through life
wear the
world.
fina-boutique.co.uk
bits and bobs
Painting by Jay Collins
...............................
pub : the heart and hand
You’ve probably walked past The Heart and Hand
and Heart, curiously) in 1859 and was redesigned
hundreds of times, but have you ever been inside?
inside and out after being taken over by Ports-
Get yourself a pint of ale, put a 45 on the jukebox,
mouth and Brighton Union Brewery in 1934. The
sit yourself down and you soon realise you’ve
distinctive exterior design (check out the green
transported yourself into a bygone era. The con-
shiny tiles and the art deco stained glass) is typical
siderable bustle of North Road outside is blurred
of their chief architect, Stavers Hessel Tiltman,
out of existence by the 19th-century stained-glass
who is also responsible for Shoreham Airport’s
leaded windows (and softened to near silence by
magnificent art deco terminal.
the double glazing beyond it); Chuck Berry, or
The pub must have seen a lot of action in its time,
the Stones, or Big Maybelle provide a melodic
not least in the 60s, when it was a favourite hang-
backdrop; you half expect the barman to ask you
out of the Mods; well creased types still use the
for ‘two and six’ for your beer.
place during August Bank Holiday (or after visit-
I chat to Lara Read, who’s been running the place
ing Jump the Gun round the corner). The jukebox
for near on nine years, having taken over from her
reflects this – there are songs by the Jam, and the
parents, who were in charge the preceding 18: she
Selecter, and Curtis Mayfield announced in biro
tells me that she considers the place a rare ‘proper
on little cardboard tags; I choose Police and Thieves
pub’, and is happy that children of regulars she’s
by Junior Marvin. “We’re probably best known for
known much of her life have started frequenting
the jukebox, and I guess you could call us a music
the place themselves. While we’re chatting I feel
pub,” says Lara. Fatboy Slim used to hang out
a tap on my shoulder, turn round, and it’s the pub
there in the 90s, she reveals, and Primal Scream.
cat, Kitcat, a British Blue/Maine Coon cross, I’m
Best of all is an anecdote about David Soul, who
told, and no more than a few months old.
popped in a few years ago looking for directions
The Heart and Hand is owned by Enterprise
for the station, and stayed for four hours. It prob-
now; it is first listed as a pub (called The Hand
ably took him back to when he was famous. AL
....
11....
bits and bobs
...............................
buried in brighton : Anna Maria C rouch
In 1805 Anna Maria Crouch – a retired actress and singer – came to Brighton for
a health cure. She may have had cancer, or possibly a drinking problem. She’d
certainly had some bad luck. Born Anna Phillips, she’d started her career in 1780,
aged around 17, and was ‘in public favour’ for the following 20 years, according
to one biographical dictionary. At her peak, she ‘combined extraordinary beauty
and grace of person very effectively with a good stage presence and a fine singing
voice to seize the affections of a large public.’ She married a Lieutenant Crouch
in 1785, but two years later met the singer Michael Kelly, who became her stage
partner and possibly her romantic partner. She had a brief affair with the future
George IV, who promised her £10,000, then, once they broke up, sent a friend
to buy her off. Mr and Mrs Crouch separated in 1791. She had been pregnant
around 1785, but ‘an accidental fall brought on a premature labour and she lost
her child,’ according to a 19th-century reference book. In 1788, injuries from a carriage accident stopped her
performing ‘for some time’. Five years later, in another carriage accident, a heavy piece of furniture fell on her,
wounding her throat and permanently impairing her voice. In the latter part of her career, health problems
sometimes prevented her performing for weeks at a time. Crouch died here in October 1805, aged 42, of
‘internal mortification’, and was buried in St Nicholas’ churchyard.
....
12....
bits and bobs
...............................
jj waller’s brighton
“Last year I was commissioned to document Whitehawk FC’s first season in the
Football Conference,” writes JJ Waller, “now I am hooked and have become a dedicated
Hawks fan. This season the team are playing sublime passing football and have a real
chance of going up to the Conference Premier, but it’s not all just action on the pitch.
The Hawks Ultras are a growing army of passionate Whitehawk supporters who sing
and chant throughout the full 90 minutes. There really are ‘Two Teams in Brighton’.
Come On You Hawks.”
....
13....
pics and bobs
...............................
mini click
Being big fans of photography, we are delighted that
Jim Stephenson, the brains behind Miniclick, has now
joined our team. He’s choosing and interviewing our
featured Brighton-based photographer (see page 21)
every month, and helping curate a selection of their
work over the following four or five pages. Miniclick is at
once many things: Jim organises free-to-attend monthly
talks by two or more professional photographers in the
Old Market that focus on stories and ideas, rather than
kit and cameras; publishes local photographers’ work
in beautifully-produced-yet-affordable form; and runs
a website (miniclick.co.uk) with reviews, interviews and news. This month’s talk (Feb 24th, 7pm) features
Brighton-based photographer Milo Belgrode and Yorkshire-based Chris Nunn, both of whom embedded
themselves in Ukraine last year to produce an in-depth body of work as to how the conflict there has affected
people’s day-to-day lives. On sale there will be the second edition of Miniclick’s latest publication, Photographer,
Writer, Illustrator. Eight photographers’ portraits were stripped of their title and context: eight short-story writers were asked to produce a work reflecting on the photo; eight illustrators were asked to draw an illustration
based on the story. The results are fascinating. Welcome aboard Jim; photography lovers watch this space for
more Miniclick news.
One -eyed jacks
There are a couple of interesting exhibitions on in February at One-Eyed Jacks, the contemporary photography gallery based on York Place. The results of the international competition Open Call, curated by the British
Journal of Photography’s Senior Reporter Gemma Padley, shows an eclectic mixture of work from the winner
and finalists from 2000 entries, and (having opened on Jan 7th) runs till Feb 22nd. On the 27th, a new show
opens, curated by the Canadian photographer Mark Peter Drolet. It’s called Sixteen Stories, it’s a contemporary
take on figuration and portraiture, and, having seen jpegs of some of the shots, we can promise you it’s an exciting prospect. Above are three shots by Noah Kalina, Karina Tenberg and Thomas Chene: in the Viva office
we’re loving those tats in the central image, particularly the cowboy one.
....
14....
pics and bobs
...............................
joe ’ s distinctive hand
Based in Brighton, Joe Decie has been drawing autobiographical comics full of lies since 2008. He has
done some for Top Shelf 2.0 and Retrofit in the USA and others for Blank Slate in the UK. His books
The Accidental Salad and The Listening Agent can be found in all good bookshops (and Brighton Library).
www.joedecie.com @joedecie
....
15....
Copyright images Royal Pavilion & Museums, Brighton and Hove
...............................
bits and bobs
....
16....
bits and bobs
...............................
Secrets of the pavilion :
Queen V ictoria in B righton
Victoria became Queen in 1837,
aged only 18 years, following her
uncle William IV (who had added
the North Gate to the Royal
Pavilion in 1832). She visited
Brighton as the new and unmarried Queen twice: once in October/November 1837 and again
at the end of 1838, spending
Christmas and New Year there.
On arriving for the first time, via
carriage, she was delighted by the
the building “lighted up looked cheerful and felt
welcome she received, noting in her diary, “I was
warm, and my impression of it was not so cheerless
received in a most enthusiastic warm and friendly
as last year.” After a long dinner with guests she
manner by an immense concourse of people. It was
went up into the Saloon Bottle to watch fireworks,
a beautiful reception and most gratifying and flat-
which she greatly enjoyed. “The whole Pavilion,”
tering. There were Triumphal Arches on all sides,
she continued, “has been done up and re-gilt and
and an amphitheatre was erected outside the gate
looks very fresh and pretty.”
of the Pavillion [sic], filled with people.”
Victoria returned to Brighton three more times, in
Popular prints showing the triumphal arches and
1842, 1843 and 1845. Much had changed between
the arrival were published (above) and commemo-
the first two and the last three visits. In 1840 she
rative coins struck. However, Victoria was clearly
had married the love of her life, Prince Albert of
not impressed with the Pavilion itself, making these
Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and by 1842 she had
now famous comments: “The Pavilion is a strange,
given birth to the Princess Royal and Prince Albert.
odd Chinese looking thing, both inside and out-
During her first visit with her husband in 1842
side; most rooms low, and I only see a little morsel
she once again went up to the Saloon Bottle, this
of the sea from one of my sitting-room windows,
time with Albert, to watch the “really very pretty
which is strange, when one considers that one is
fireworks”.
quite close to the sea.”
In 1843 Victoria arrived from France by boat, land-
In August 1839 Victoria recorded a conversation
ing at the Chain Pier, greeted by a fleet of smaller
she had had with Lord Melbourne, which doesn’t
boats and crowds of onlookers on the beach and
paint the place or the palace in a better light:
pier. A painting in the collection of Brighton
“Talked of Brighton, it’s [sic] being an odious place,
Museum and Art Gallery by Richard Henry Nibbs
the impossibility of sailing there, &c.; the burden
records the event. However, around this time
the Pavilion was, and what to do with it.” She liked
Victoria and Albert were already considering the
it better on her second visit, noting that this time
Isle of Wight as a more suitable location for their >>>
....
17....
bits and bobs
...............................
queen victoria in brighton (cont...)
holiday home.
On the occasion of her last visit in February 1845
the Queen and her family (by then there were four
children) took the train to Brighton and back. As
is well known, the railways made the journey from
London to Brighton both considerably faster and,
crucially, much cheaper, resulting in an unprecedented increase in visitor numbers in Brighton
from all levels of society. Victoria, who had already
age, was not amused by this. However, she had posi-
of Brighton’. The sledge survives in the Royal Col-
tive things to say about her journey. On 7 February
lection and was displayed for the first time in 2009
Victoria set off from New Cross Station in London,
at Windsor Castle.
and noted in her diary “The railway is very well
Sadly, Victoria and Albert also had a less pleasant
constructed & goes through tunnels & over bridges,
experience on this visit. The papers reported on 15
passing through very pretty country. We only took
February 1845 that the Queen and Consort were
an hour & ¼ going down! In former times it used
“exposed to much annoyance” during a private
to take us 5 hours & ½ getting down to Brighton.”
walk on the Chain Pier on the Saturday morning.
She remarked that the return journey was “rather
Despite having dressed incognito, with Victoria
too fast, I think.”
wearing a veil, the Royal couple was spotted and
Snow fell in Sussex during this visit, and on 11th
chased back to the gates of the Pavilion by some
and 12th February Victoria and Albert tried out
particularly rude boys, who peered under her bon-
their “pretty, smart sledge”, venturing as far as Pat-
net. The Illustrated London News lamented this be-
cham and Clayton. Victoria gushed in her diaries:
haviour, noting that, while the residents of Brighton
“The horses with their handsome red harness &
had not always enjoyed Royal presence (a stab at
many bells, had a charming effect. Albert drove
the unpopular George IV, perhaps), “if the Queen
from the seat. We went along the London road,
cannot enjoy a walk without being subjected to
a good way beyond Patcham, & the sledge went
annoyances from which the meanest of her subjects
delightfully though the road was unfortunately
are free, it is not to be wondered that Brighton is so
very much broken up in places, but in others it was
seldom selected as the Royal residence.”
covered with snow. The bright blue sky & sunshine,
The paper was right. Victoria left Brighton by train
together with the sound of the bells, had a very
soon after, never to return, and probably having
exhilarating effect.” A picturesque print illustrat-
come much closer to her decision to give up the
ing the scene (above) was quickly produced by The
Pavilion. She sold the entire estate to the town
Illustrated London News. It shows a snow-capped
commissioners of Brighton in 1850, but began dis-
Royal Pavilion in the background, possibly alluding
mantling and removing the interior decorations and
to the already well-established nickname ‘Kremlin
furnishings from 1846 onward. Alexandra Loske
....
19....
Copyright images Royal Pavilion & Museums, Brighton and Hove
noted how crowded Brighton was in the pre-railway
towner
Through the Art Fund’s crowdfunding platform Art Happens,
Towner is raising funds to commission a photograph of
Eastbourne by Austrian artist Hans Schabus.
Hans has travelled the globe in a handmade boat – from
Vienna to New York, Frankfurt, Venice, Rotterdam and Lisbon.
His voyages have formed a fascinating series of photographs.
Towner wants to bring Hans and his boat on its final voyage
to Eastbourne Pier. His new work will be exhibited in October
2015 and join Towner’s Collection.
Help make this exciting project happen and get exceptional
rewards in return. artfund.org/arthappens-towner
Towner is registered charity no. 1156762
Hans Schabus, Mare Adriatico, Venezia, 13 Maggio 2005
Support a New Masterpiece
Get Great Rewards
photography
...............................
People-watching for sport
Brighton folk in the eyes of an Estonian émigré
Oleg Pulemjotov is a 30-year-old Estonian designer with
home one time, tourists can pay to go on hunt-
a keen interest in photography. His website photogruff.
ing trips in Estonia with nothing but a camera.
com shows a diverse range of topics and styles, from band
Wildlife in Estonia is rich and that is a harmless way
photography to street shots. One series, ‘Brighton Folk’,
to explore it. I like to think of that when I go out
consists of photos he’s taken out on the streets of the city,
shooting for Brighton Folk.
capturing many of its characters. We’ve asked him to
Do you carry your camera everywhere? I’ve
come up with a selection for us to show over the next five
toned it down a bit while working on the website
pages, asking him that every one of his choices should
(brightonfolk.com), but I look forward to shooting
follow the theme ‘couples’.
regularly again. I started off taking pictures wher-
What drives your street photography? I was
ever I went, I used to take thousands every month.
brought up in Estonia, and my first memories
Eventually a few themes emerged – for example a
started forming around the time the Soviet Union
person on the pavement on the other side of the
collapsed. When I look back I seem to particularly
road framed by a building - and I started deliber-
remember how uniform everything was. I think
ately taking pics using that as the framework.
a lot of people were reluctant or found it hard
How long have you been taking pictures in the
to shake their Communist past. Brighton, where
street? They say it takes you seven years to perfect
diversity and expression are celebrated, to me is at
your art, and I am working to prove that. There
the opposite end of the social and cultural spectrum.
must be 80,000 pictures on my hard drive. It all
That fascinates me. So in a way taking pictures in
started when I would take my company’s digital
the street around Brighton is a way of documenting
camera out; it was too complicated for my liking
what I see – it’s for myself
as much as it is for
anyone else.
– too many buttons - so my father gave me the
old family camera, a Zenit Olympic edition 35mm
camera marked with the 1980 Games symbol.
You’ve likened
There was just aperture and shutter speed and focus
it to hunting…
basically, so I learned on that.
According to
Could your work be considered voyeuristic? I
a magazine I
hope not. I’m not trying to judge people, and my
read on my
intention is not to offend people. I don’t try to look
flight
for the most eccentric people, either, I just look for
people in their natural state. The law is on my side:
you are allowed to take pictures of people in public
spaces. Still there is a ‘report this image’ button on
my website which I encourage people to use.
....
21....
photography
...............................
....
22....
photography
...............................
....
23....
photography
...............................
....
24....
photography
...............................
....
25....
column
......................................
Chloë King
The last tattoo?
“It means: ‘you can undo
on my ‘must do before it
your mistakes,’” I say
becomes legal’ list. My
proudly to my sixth form
friend Andrew got one
friends as they squint at
of an ankh around his
my new tattoo. We’re
bellybutton. It reminded
drinking quadruple
me of the temples I visited
vodkas, lime and soda -
in Egypt with my dad and
the low-budget pub drink
torsos on Top of the Pops.
that screams ‘seventeen!’
So I asked him for the
“It looks like the Miss
address of the parlour he
Selfridge logo,” replies
used in Stoke Newington.
The journey from
one, and, if I know my
face, it drops. I skulk off to the damp toilet with
Brighton was long, but not nearly long enough
its doors plastered in vintage Beano cartoons and
to decide on an image to etch permanently on
I peer over my shoulder at my new back. My
a slab of my pale teenage flesh. My friend Alice
friend is right. It does look like the Miss Selfridge
came for the ride but quickly became tired and
logo. Why didn’t I notice that? Maybe 12 hours
bored, leaving me with another point to prove.
ago, when I was choosing it out of the book?
The parlour had none of the drama I imagined it
That tattoo has followed me around for fifteen
would, but I charged in determined. I demanded
years. People used to ask me about it but as you
the tattooist give me one that day, for less than
get older, if people espy bad taste they usually
£50. The artist was ambivalent and getting the
restrain from mentioning it. My tat reached a
tattoo was sore.
peak of unacceptability when I was at Camber-
It’s not something I would do again in a hurry.
well College of Art, studying alongside tattooists
I’ve agonised over a full sleeve but I don’t trust
like Saira Hunjan and other people whose body
myself to choose something because surely, if an
art genuinely expressed their creativity.
image chooses you, it makes for a better tattoo?
Except, perhaps my shit tattoo does too?
Truth is, if I got another tat it would be medi-
Getting your first tattoo can be romantic. You
tated, invested in. It wouldn’t have any of the
can sit for years dreaming up what it will be like,
spontaneity or stupidity of my first and so surely
sketching away; listening to Green Day; saving
it would make me feel old and sensible, or worse,
the money. You can do what Mr did, and have
it would be another status job. You see; the errors
your best mate carve a skull into your ankle
you make the first time you do something are
with a scalpel and draw over it in biro. For me,
forgivable, lovable, poetic, even. The next time
however, getting a tattoo was just another thing
though, they’re just mistakes.
....
26....
column
...........................................
John
Helmer
Gets a dry-clean
‘And what’s this?’ A manicured fingernail taps a tie,
day, when she had to explain to a less understand-
one of three spread across the counter.
ing attendant than this one why her husband’s suit
‘Maybe … Southern Rhone?’
looked like he’d been buried in it.
‘That won’t come out, I’m afraid.’ We move on to
The July air was fragrant, I remember, as we made
the suits. ‘Looks like you sat in something.’
our way home from The Open House that night,
‘Pumpkin?’ I suggest; ‘sweet potato?’ The woman
and this birthday boy, torpid with contentment,
behind the counter struggles to conceal her mirth.
decided to rest himself on a low churchyard wall
Either that or I shat myself.
against a hedge. To this day I curse the Methodists
In even worse condition is my pin-striped Piranha
who planted privet instead of a more supportive
suit, peppered with fag burns as if from volleys of
shrub like yew. When Kate turned around (as she
birdshot. What exactly happens to me when I put
tells it) I had disappeared. She finally located me
on a suit?
under the hedge, fast asleep, and had to call Freddy
The answer is all too visible – not only to her, but
out to carry me home. ‘… Then, when I took his suit
also to the queue steadily forming at my back.
to the dry cleaners, his pockets were full of leaves!’
Because although the room is cavernous, and practi-
How we all laugh. Every time.
cally empty apart from rails of polythene-wrapped
The manicured fingernail taps. ‘That looks like—’
clothes, the area of the shop given over to custom-
‘A shaving cut,’ I say, too quickly.
ers is small: none of them can help but register the
‘What’s it doing down there though ..? Perhaps best
slob life being detailed here in gravy, mayo and
not ask.’ She flashes me a confidential smile. Confi-
chip fat. It’s a tale of bolted takeaways
dential between the two of us and the ever growing
in midnight termini. Meal deals at the
queue – which I notice as I glance around for the
sort of hotel where they serve Prawn
first time includes Poppy’s old headmaster – and a
Cocktail with extra Marie Rose sauce
local GP whose mental prescription pad I imagine
and no irony. Showy-off plates full
filling itself out, as he watches one last gravy-spat-
of sleeve-coating foams, reductions
tered tie cross the desk, with a course of statins.
and jus …
Only … looking at them all, clutching bags-for-life
It’s not that I suspect they might be
full of their own embarrassing secrets, something
judging me, I know they are. I can
occurs to me. Perhaps it’s not disapproval that
smell it – even above the reek of dry
causes this shuffling of feet, this pointed coughing.
cleaning chemicals.
Perhaps it’s impatience.
I blame my wife for putting me
‘Pay now or later?’ The woman behind the counter
through this ordeal. Kate doesn’t put
reaches for her famously malfunctioning cash
my dry cleaning in any more. Not since
machine.
the time, after one particular JH birth-
‘Later, please.’
....
27....
column
...........................................
Notes from North Village
Lizzie Enfield
“I saw him in the North Village the other day,” I
Oh, yes. BN1.
say to a friend from Hove, or ‘Hove Actually’ or
“The North Village?” My friend rolls her eyes. “Is
‘Almost Aldrington Actually,’ depending on your
that what you call Fiveways?”
point of view or where you hail from.
“What? Er… no. It’s the name of a café,” I explain,
Everyone seems a bit cagey about exactly where
but the damage is done.
they live in the city. I know someone who, without
She thinks Fiveways residents see themselves as
failure, prefaces her address with a faux cough and
part of a village. She thinks we think we live in
continues with ‘the Slade.’
the equivalent of Greenwich Village, New York.
I find the pseudonym and the ‘ahem’ mildly
Maybe we do. There are certainly villagey aspects
infuriating. Why not just say ‘Portslade?’ But she’s
to the area. There are local shops, with signs
not alone. Another friend who lives in ‘Ahem, the
emphasizing just how local they are, selling local
Slade’ always refers to the place as ‘BN47.’
food labelled to emphasize its localness and local
Initially, I thought this was more likely to be
schools taking local kids. They don’t have visible
‘Ahem, the Mouth’ i.e. Portsmouth. BN47 seemed
labels but you can tell - they carry musical instru-
too far away from neighboring BN3 to be reached
ments and other downright giveaways.
in just one more stop on the train.
I recognize people, when I see them elsewhere in
What happened to 4-46, I wondered? And in the
the city, as living locally.
time I spent wondering, I conjured up an imagi-
“I think I’ve seen you wandering around Five-
nary land between ‘Almost Aldrington’ and ‘Ahem,
ways,” is a frequent method of introduction. I’m
the Slade’ full of magical creatures and mythical
a writer. I have to wander around a lot for work
beasts that only those with special
and have coffee in The North Village (it really is
powers could enter.
a café).
Then someone pointed out
And we have residents’ associations and
that Hassocks, Lewes etc.
Neighborhood Watch schemes and
all had BN postcodes
probably more than the average
and for some reason they
number of street parties. Our street
sprinkled the numbers
even has a rolling dinner party.
about a bit before heading
Within about two hours of having
on down the coast. (And,
moved into our house we’d agreed
yes, that got me to imagin-
to host the cheese course. Correc-
ing the anarchist in the Post
tion. I’d agreed to host the cheese
Office who came up with
course. Other half was prowling and
that little plan. I bet that
growling; “If I’d wanted to move to
livened up a dull day in the
a village, I’d have moved to a f***ing
office…)
village”.
But where was I?
Little did he know….
....
29....
....
30....
Photo by Adam Bronkhorst
interview
..........................................
mybrighton: Tim Crouch
Playwright, director and actor
Are you local? I was brought up in Bognor, which
Bar in Kemptown tugs on my emotions. I’ve had a
is sort of local. I went to university in Bristol, met
few Brighton friends die recently and each time the
my wife, had two kids, and started to make theatre.
Bristol has become the place of refuge for the griev-
I missed the deeply shelving pebble beaches of my
ers. They do good food, too, and there’s a great view
childhood, so we moved to Brighton in 1998. It was
of the sea. Bom-Bane’s, nearby on George Street, is a
the best move we ever made.
uniquely Brighton institution with great food made
Where do you live? In Hanover. In 1997 I was in a
by real people and an eclectic programme of live
touring production of Caryl Churchill’s Light Shin-
performance.
ing in Buckinghamshire which played at St Martin’s
When did you last swim in the sea? In October. I
Church on the Lewes Road. We used to drink in the
swam all year round once, but I spend long periods
Hanover pubs after performances, and I really liked
touring abroad every winter. To swim year round
the feeling of the place. The People’s Republic of
you have to do it regularly. The sea’s actually fine up
Hanover. We bought a house in Cobden Road. Did it
till around December, but in January and February
up, had a third child there. No plans to leave.
it gets fucking cold. I like to jog to the nudist beach,
What do you like about Brighton? It feels like it’s
swim, dry off, and run back home. I like the swim-
still in an experimental stage. It’s still curious about
ming area buoys. They’re like my friends. It’s a sad
itself – bi-curious. Also there are a lot of different
day when they’re taken out of the sea [for winter] and
political colours here. There are a lot of colours in
put in a triangle of wire fencing near the Crazy Golf
general, in fact. Blue rinses sit alongside pink mohi-
– like clipped birds unable to fly.
cans, and they rub along quite well.
How do you spend your Sunday afternoons? At
And you started writing here… I was in my late
the moment, watching rugby. My third child, Joe, is a
thirties and realised I’d been slogging away as an
fine sportsman. He used to play football for the Hol-
actor for too long. You can’t plan that kind of life. So
lingbury Hawks and Dean Valley, and now he plays
I started a PhD and wrote my first play, My Arm, at
rugby for the Brighton Blues. It’s much more civilised
the kitchen table. It’s a conceptual piece that gently
on the touchline at the rugby.
fucks with the audience’s heads. I wanted to challenge
Where would you live if not in Brighton? It can’t
realism as the dominant form in theatre. I started
happen soon because it would be unfair to Joe, whose
performing it in friends’ houses in 2002. I took it
life here as a teenager – going to Dorothy Stringer,
to Edinburgh the next summer, and it’s been in my
playing in a band – I envy. But I’d like to spend some
repertoire ever since.
time living in the Sussex countryside one day, to the
Where do you hang out? When we were look-
west of Brighton, in the gentle curve of the Downs.
ing for somewhere to live I went into the Constant
I’d like to open my front door onto that one day. It’s
Service on Islingword Road and asked the barman
probably to do with my age… Interview by Alex Leith
if Hanover was a good place. He said yes, so he’s
Tim is performing in his own play, I, Malvolio, at the
to blame. (And they do great roasts.) The Bristol
Dome Studio, 13th and 14th of March.
....
31....
brighton in history
..........................................
Maria Fitzherbert
The love of George IV’s life
He lied to her and cheated on her and was
they met. She liked dancing and music, and had a
sometimes cruel. He dumped her twice for other
‘lively’ sense of humour, biographer James Mun-
women. He was not above using suicide threats
son notes, but was also a ‘woman of considerable
to win her, or to win her back. He coaxed her into
pride,’ who cared strongly about propriety and
a secret wedding, then humiliated her by getting
respectability. It was marriage or nothing.
a friend to publicly deny it had happened. He re-
By law, no-one married to a Catholic could suc-
peated the humiliation by marrying again, as if she
ceed to the throne, and Prince George was first
had merely been his mistress. Yet she was clearly
in line. This should have put him off, but, after
the love of his life, and he risked the throne to be
they met in March 1784, he began a reckless and
with her. And she seems to have loved him too. It
relentless courtship. She planned to go to Europe
was, as one book on Mrs Fitzherbert points out, ‘a
to avoid his attentions; when he heard this, he
very strange love story’.
‘stabbed himself and made out that it was a suicide
***
attempt,’ biographer Saul David notes.
“I read that his education consisted of quite a lot
She went to Europe anyway. George ‘cried by
of floggings,” Royal Pavilion guide Louise Peskett
the hour,’ according to a contemporary account,
says. “That’s what his father thought would make
‘rolling on the floor, striking his forehead, tearing
his sons into good upstanding men. But, if we look
his hair, falling into hysterics…’ He wrote her
at his upbringing in 21st-century eyes, basically
frequent, passionate letters, sometimes threatening
he was an abused child who had a very remote
suicide. She resisted for more than a year.
relationship with his parents.
“I’d have thought if you fake suicide and batter
“And, sure enough, he became a person who
someone with letters and send messengers all over
couldn’t control his impulses very well, who
Europe for them…” Peskett says, “you’d think,
seemed to have problems with addiction, we’d
after a couple of months he would have thought
call it these days. Back then he was just a person
‘oh, ok then, never mind’. She must have really
who drank and spent lots of money and took lots
meant a lot to him.
of laudanum and things. These days, it would be
“I think she genuinely did like him, but her feet
ringing alarm bells; we’d say ‘that’s a person with
were on the ground. She was older and more ex-
problems’.”
perienced, she could see the bigger picture and the
Prince George was reckless with money, impulsive,
problems it could cause, and put her good sense
melodramatic, and sometimes selfish. But he was
before her heart.”
also intelligent, witty, charming and sociable. Tall
Nonetheless, they married in December 1895, in
and handsome in his youth, he had a series of
secret. Their relationship status became a popular
lovers, all of whom were content to be mistresses.
subject of gossip. The prince manipulated his
Maria Fitzherbert wasn’t.
friend, the MP Charles Fox, to deny the marriage
She was six years older than him, a convent-edu-
in Parliament; George then went to Mrs Fitz-
cated Catholic who’d been widowed twice before
herbert and claimed to be astonished at what Fox
....
32....
had said. A witness claimed: ‘Maria
turned very pale, and made no reply.’
She refused to see George for some
time, which made him so distressed
that his health suffered.
After she took him back, they went
to Brighton for the summer of
1786, where they were ‘a picture of
romantic contentment,’ according to
those brief but happy months, the
prince appeared to be a reformed
character. He drank only moderately,
gambled hardly at all, and entertained quietly.’
In the next few years, they spent a
lot of time together in Brighton. “It
was one of the places they escaped
to,” Peskett says, “where they could
sort of play at domestic bliss: ‘we’re
just an ordinary married couple’,
enjoying life and being very cosy and
everything.”
However, things were going less
well by late 1793, Saul David notes.
She had ‘long disapproved of his
dissolute lifestyle and disreputable
friends’. He was so extravagant that
she ‘often had to lend him money’.
He frequently cheated on her.
One of his mistresses, Lady Jersey,
convinced the Prince ‘that his unpopularity with the people was due
to Mrs Fitzherbert and her religion,’
biographer Valerie Irvine writes.
‘She also told him that Maria had
Illustration by Joda jonydaga.weebly.com
a magazine called Royal Romances. ‘In
been heard to say she was only interested in his rank, not in his
person.’ In June 1794, the prince dumped his wife by letter.
By this point, George’s debts were enormous, and ‘in return for
financial help, the king insisted that he should marry a Protestant
princess,’ the Dictionary of British History notes. So, in 1795,
he wed Caroline of Brunswick, who he didn’t really like. They
separated the following year.
After another series of ‘increasingly desperate’ overtures, Mrs
Fitzherbert took him back around 1800, Saul David notes. She
had been looking after a child called Minney Seymour, and “it
sounds like they had quite a happy domestic few years, playing
parents with this little girl, in some kind of domestic bliss,”
Peskett says.
When Minney’s parents died, there was a custody battle between
her family and Mrs Fitzherbert, who was devoted to the child.
Minney’s relatives Lord and Lady Hertford helped Maria; they
became the child’s legal guardians, and let Mrs Fitzherbert keep
her.
>>>
....
33....
Maria Fitzherbert (cont)
Maria was very grateful, but then Lady Hertford
became the Prince’s latest mistress, and “used her
influence on George to widen the gap between
them,” Peskett says. “Apparently their relationship sort of limped on, but not with the passion
that it had had previously.”
To keep her own affair secret, Lady Hertford
forced Mrs Fitzherbert to play the dutiful wife at
social events, threatening to take Minney away if
she didn’t. Maria told the Prince his latest fling
piness of both our lives’.
The final breakup came in June 1811, a few
months after George had been made Prince
Regent. Having been invited to a fête at George’s
London residence, Mrs Fitzherbert was told she
wouldn’t be seated anywhere near the Prince.
Portrait by Sir Joshua Reynolds
had ‘quite destroyed the entire comfort and hap-
“That’s how he let it be known to her that he
what was at stake for him, what he was risking…
didn’t need her anymore, that she was dispensed
So that helps us to understand his point of view
with,” Peskett says.
as well.”
“He was very mercurial and led by his heart…
After 1811, they wrote to each other ‘occasion-
Whereas she seems to have been quite calm and
ally, but their letters were confined to practical
had her feet on the ground,” Peskett continues.
matters, usually money,’ according to Royal Ro-
“I think she was a kind of safe harbour for the
mances. She lived mainly in Brighton from about
tumultuous waves of his personality. George’s
1815, and if she met the King there, they would
mother, during one of their ruptures, wrote
‘exchange frosty glances’. It’s frequently said that
to her and asked her to make it up with him,
the people of Brighton were very fond of Maria,
because his behaviour was so bad without her as
and this has been suggested as one reason that
a steadying influence.
George’s later trips to Brighton were mostly
“I think she was very strong and stoic. But how
spent in seclusion in the Pavilion.
must she have felt? To be rejected for other
Before George died, in 1830, he ensured that
women, and this blowing-hot-and-cold thing
he would be buried with a locket containing a
they had going on. And, from the time he lied to
picture of her. When told of this gesture, Maria
her about Fox’s statement having nothing to do
was seen to be crying. Steve Ramsey
with him, she must have known that she couldn’t
With many thanks to Louise Peskett, who
really trust him, despite these violent protesta-
gives women’s-history themed walking tours of
tions of love. That must have really been dif-
Brighton during the Fringe. See her website,
ficult. But, of course, she would have been aware
historywomenbrighton.com.
....
35....
science festival
..........................................
In search of the poly grail
Rosie Wilby wonders: ‘Is Monogamy Dead?’
Rosie Wilby is a comedian
more, but admit to it less.”
who is currently involved in a
The key, she believes, is for
relationship. It is a monogamous
couples to be more tolerant of
relationship. It is by no means
their partners gaining sexual
her first.
gratification from other people,
Her latest comedy show, which
not in the form of discreet
she has been performing for a
affairs but, more interestingly,
while, and which she is bringing
polyamory, whereby it is agreed
to town as part of the Brighton
by both that either can sleep
Science Festival, questions the
with other partners. “One of
validity of such monogamous
the key points about polyamory
relationships in the modern age.
is that people are being honest
Her argument is quite simple.
rather than dishonest,” she says.
She has noticed that more and
The subject of show is intended
to be taken seriously by the
more people she knows, gay and
straight (she falls into the former category) seem to
audience, but as a comedian, Rosie is also playing for
struggle to keep a relationship going for more than a
laughs. “There are spoofy extras like my lab coat and
few years.
safety goggles, and my flip chart… [for] bad draw-
There are many factors in play, but the main one, she
ings and flaky graphs and stuff.” There is plenty of
says, is that after a while partners stop being as sexu-
audience participation. “It’s a bit like Family Fortunes:
ally stimulated by one another as they once were. And
I ask the audience to shout out what they consider to
sleeping with somebody else isn’t acceptable within
constitute infidelity. It’s interesting what they come
the structure of a traditional relationship.
out with. One person shouted ‘oral sex in a car’. I
“So it seems we have moved towards serial monog-
mean, why only in a car?”
amy, as a solution,” she says. “It’s quite a destructive
So, it needs to be asked, has she agreed with her part-
way of living. In effect [when you break up] you lose
ner that they can be polyamorous? They are not quite
your home, friends, emotional stability. Time and
at that point, she admits. “In our relationship we’ve
time again.”
started to have more and more discussions about our
Received wisdom has it that it’s generally men who
boundaries, and we’re at a place where we have more
get itchy looking for sex outside the relationship, but
fluid boundaries, and a lot of my friendships are love-
Rosie has read around the subject and suspects that
affair friendships, which are essentially non-sexual
women may struggle even more with monogamy. “A
friendships but have a romantic element. [This is]
book came out last year, What Women Want by Daniel
very much a movable feast in as far as we’re keeping
Bergner, [which] talked about this very powerful force
on and seeing what works.” Alex Leith
of female sexuality and how women are turned on
Is Monogamy Dead? plays at the Dukebox Theatre,
by a whole range of things and actually crave variety
6.30pm, Feb 21st.
....
37....
science festival
..........................................
Ghost Busting
Paranormal expert Caroline Watt
“I’m not some sort of ghostbuster,”
Why we interpret such experiences
Dr Caroline Watt explains, with
as paranormal is one of the questions
the patience of one who has
that fascinates Watt. Some of us, she
explained this many times before.
believes, are predisposed to such
“I run experiments in ‘haunted’
thoughts; “People who are sensitive,
locations, but not because I assume
neurotic, suggestible, those who get
paranormal phenomena exist.
really absorbed in a task or a movie –
What interests me is why people
these are all characteristics associated
feel they have had a paranormal
with paranormal experience.” Others
experience.”
may choose to believe: “Personally,
For more than 30 years Watt has
I’m with Richard Dawkins on this
been dedicated to the niche field
one, and think science and nature is
wonderful enough in its own right.
of parapsychology - the scientific
investigation of paranormal beliefs and experiences.
But some people prefer to think that there’s more
She is based at Edinburgh University’s Koestler
to life than meets the eye. I suppose it makes things
Unit, the country’s foremost – indeed, only – para-
seem more interesting.”
psychology research centre, where her colleagues
A few years ago, she and her partner Richard
include a former magician who is ‘an authority
Wiseman (the couple met when the renowned
on the history of deception’ and a philosopher
psychology professor was a postgraduate at the
interested in the possibility that we can predict the
Koestler unit) launched The Signs of Ghosts, an
future. Watt’s own specialisms include the study of
online project that invited people to submit their
precognitive dream experiences and of telepathy.
‘unexplained’ pictures of ghostly images on tree
Her interest is fired by intellectual curiosity rather
trunks, in pieces of toast – you get the idea. Many
than personal experience. The only ‘paranormal’
of the ‘faces’ were recognisable only to the photog-
experiences Watt can attest to are the result of
rapher. “But they were adamant that this was proof
scientific experiments she has engineered herself.
of a ghost.” We’re programmed to see patterns and
Even in favourite ghosthunter locations such as
signs where they don’t really exist, she explains.
Hampton Court Palace, research led her to con-
The phenomenon even has a name – pareidolia.
clude that any spooky experiences were more likely
As part of this month’s Brighton Science Festival,
the result of environmental factors than anything
Watt is hosting a show that promises to dig a little
supernatural. “We asked people to tell us about
deeper into this subject and ‘reveal the truth’ about
their emotions and mood that day and measured
dowsing, telepathy and other supposedly paranor-
physical factors such as temperature, humidity and
mal experiences through hands-on tests and experi-
electromagnetic activity in different rooms to see
ments. “I hope people will come away with new
if there was any correlation with the places people
knowledge and, if they’re believers, thinking a little
felt uneasy. Although people weren’t aware of it,
more critically about what they believe.” NM
their ‘paranormal’ experiences were generally a
The Science of the Paranormal, 7.30pm and 9.30pm
response to environmental variables.”
on Feb 26 at Otherplace at The Basement.
....
38....
Comedy
..........................................
Austentatious
Nonsense and Sensibility
They do like to put some real emotion in the
storyline. But if they get an audience suggestion like
Godzilla vs MegaDarcy, or Snakes On A HorseDrawn Carriage, it’s hardly going to be a weepy.
And yes, they do their best to keep it authentically
early-19th-century, but it’s not easy if they’re given a
title like My Mobile Phone’s Broken, or The Tumblr
of Mr Darcy.
Though actually, the toughest titles are the vague,
earnest ones, like An Air of Frivolity, or Dancing and
Parris thinks, as she was irreverent, mischievous, and
Dastardliness. I imagine they much prefer the funny
“had a really witty streak.” As well as being witty, her
suggestions, like Northanger Rabbi.
novels always have an interesting cast of characters,
Austentatious are a comedy-improv group whose af-
and are dialogue-heavy, Parris says, a style which is
fectionate spoof of Jane Austen involves improvising
well suited for improv. “There’s usually a romance,
a new Austen novel at every performance. Everyone
which is fun. Also, I think nearly every book is an
in the audience is given a piece of paper before the
examination of society - that’s something we try and
show, and asked to suggest a title. All these ideas are
do,” as well as getting in “emotional content”.
put into a hat. Two are pulled out and read aloud,
“We’ve had beautiful, heartbreaking love stories,
for a laugh. The third one to come out becomes the
genuinely unexpected plot twists. The boy doesn’t
basis of the show.
always get the girl. Sometimes they live, sometimes
When the group started, co-founder Rachel Parris
they die. It’s perhaps slightly more dramatic than
says, they had each read a few Austen novels, “and
Austen, actually, because we don’t feel like we
thought we’d just plough on, quite arrogantly, for
need to be hemmed in by what would genuinely
the first few months. But then we found we were
happen in Hertfordshire, and we get suggestions
sort of holding back on stage because we didn’t
like Austen in Space, or Darcy and the Sharks. So
know quite enough about it. Then we had quite a
more dramatic things happen, but no matter what
few properly geeky Austen research nights.
the situation is, whether it’s in a zoo, or a swimming
“And we’ve had to swot up a bit on what the man-
pool, or in space, we still try and keep Austen-type
ners were, who would bow, who would curtsey, what
characters at the heart of it.”
a Duke would say to a lady, what a lady would say
Of course, they have no idea what their show at The
to a servant, etc. Actually, once you get the feeling
Old Market will be about, but there’s a good chance
of the language, it’s really fun to do: you just have to
it will involve Austen’s most famous character.
be quite polite, and every so often throw a metaphor
“We get Darcy suggested a lot. Darcy Does Dallas,
in there.”
Double 0 Darcy, that kind of thing…” Steve Ramsey
Austen probably would have approved of their work,
Austentatious, Fri 20, TOM, 8pm, £14/£12
....
39....
comedy
...........................
Josie Long
Every cloud has its silver gag-lines
to write a show, every-
about the schoolgirl
thing around you
comedian?’ the Sunday
you’re just vampiris-
Times asked in 1999.
ing, so you can have
The article was about
quite bad things hap-
a 17-year-old A-Level
pen to you, and you
student from Orping-
think: ‘Oh, I’ll get five
ton who had become
minutes out of this,
‘almost a veteran of
that’s alright…’
the alternative comedy
circuit.’
She’d loved drama and
performing at school,
Photo by Giles Smith
‘Heard the one
“It’s been helpful with
this show, because
a lot of this show’s
about heartbreak and
as well as TV comedy, so, as a 14th-birthday
hard things that have happened, and it’s kind of
present, her mother had bought her a place on
helpful to know that I can try and write comedy
a comedy workshop. ‘At 15 she was on the same
about them. That’s quite cathartic, and it’s a way
bill as Jo Brand and Harry Hill.’ At the time of
of taking things that were painful and making
the article, she was in the final of the BBC’s New
them less so.
Comedy Award, which she won.
“But in other ways it is really weird, because I
Now aged 32, and a cult favourite, with three Per-
don’t know what my life would be like without it;
rier nominations, Josie Long was surprised to be
I’ve never had a time where I wasn’t, in some part
asked repeatedly about her teenage years. “Is this,
of the back of my mind, thinking about making
like, a magazine for young people?” she asks, add-
comedy in some way.”
ing with enthusiasm that that would be “COOL!”
Is she able to have that sense of perspective at the
I reply that I just thought it was ‘an angle’.
time that bad things are happening to her? “Er,
“Hang on, let me try and think more about it. It
not really, which is good, I think. If you’re, like,
was 15 or 16 years ago now. It’s funny, because
being dumped, and while you’re literally being
I’ve been doing comedy longer than I’ve not
dumped you’re thinking, ‘oh, this will make a
been doing it, so it’s kind of always been a part
good Edinburgh show’, that’s not good. On the
of my life, and a part of how I live and process
whole I think I’m alright. It’s only ever afterwards
my thoughts. It’s so weird to think of it like that,
that I’m like [this could be funny]. Though I think
like I’ve never been without it, and there’s never
once I got mugged and it was really scary and I
been… I very rarely thought of giving it up or not
thought ‘I’m going to talk about this on stage’,
doing it.”
while it was happening.” Steve Ramsey
Does that give her a strange perspective on the
Josie Long: Cara Josephine, Feb 19, Brighton
world? “Sometimes. Sometimes if you’re trying
Dome Corn Exchange, 8pm, £14/£12
....
40....
comedy
..........................................
Omid Djalili
Why performing beats partying
When my daughter was two, I went to a children’s
show and lost her. I thought: ‘Christ, she’s not on
my lap anymore!’ Everyone started laughing because she went up on stage, and just stood there and
looked at the crowd and beamed a smile - didn’t do
anything, just smiled. I felt that was like me: I just
want to be on stage. I’ve got nothing to say, I just
want to stand there and look at a crowd.
I always felt very at home on stage, but very uncomfortable in the classroom, very uncomfortable in a
pub. I couldn’t stand being at parties. People would
be drinking, snogging, doing activities that were totally alien to me. It felt more natural to me to stand
on stage saying nothing than being at a party, or in a
pub holding a drink.
Stand-up comedy is such a minefield. From the
So I gravitated towards the stage, and then it was a
moment you stand on stage, even the way you are
real struggle to say something that was of any value.
introduced, the way you come on stage, every single
I think that’s been my struggle, and still is… I really
second of it can affect… you can do a brilliant show,
don’t know if what I say connects with people, I
and then do one thing the audience doesn’t like,
have no idea. But people still come, they pay money,
show a weird political viewpoint or say something
so something must be going alright.
slightly dodgy, and they will hate you; you can
It’s not just about the laughs; it’s about connect-
literally crumble like a load of dominoes. I think
ing with people. But an audience is different every
that’s the amazing beauty of it, but also what makes
night. That’s the risk of it. It can go horribly wrong,
it really scary.
and you won’t know why. It could be a couple of
But when you’re on stage you have total control. At
people in a room with a bad energy, that you could
a party I think I don’t have control. That’s the thing.
pick up on, and it could completely destroy you.
Stand up can be a totally free experience, because
You have the mental strength to not be affected by
you are, every second, every step, setting the agenda.
it. If you’re playing in front of 3,000 people, some-
I think that’s all it is: comedians, we’re mentally ill
times it’s like Euston station: 2,800 people are lov-
control freaks, and we’d much rather be on stage
ing it, but you can see 200 people on their phones,
than at a party because at a party there are so many
there’s a comedian who you really respect who’s fast
variables. Anything can happen.
asleep, a couple of pretty girls are talking, a reviewer
As told to Steve Ramsey
who you respect is writing something… You have to
Omid Djalili: Iranalamadingdong, Sun 15, Theatre
learn to phase all that out, and just do the show.
Royal, 8pm, £26.90
....
41....
local musicians
..........................................
ATheCurious
Life
Levellers are back
The Levellers are back on tour this month with
an acoustic show at the De La Warr Pavilion in
Bexhill alongside a screening of A Curious Life – a
Photo by Judith Burrows
new music doc about the band’s early years made by
Chumbawamba’s Dunstan Bruce. We chatted to artist, archivist and whisky-loving bass player Jeremy
Cunningham (pictured, with dreads).
Does it still surprise you how popular The Levellers became? Kind of. But we’re a shit-hot band!
Did you ever think you’d be doing a seated
missing out on our rise and that it had nothing to
acoustic gig at an art deco theatre in Bexhill?
do with them. The left wing/anarchist squat scene
No, but it sounds interesting. My dad was a biker
we came from was completely alien to them. And
back in the day – did the Isle of Man TT race. And
I think most of them genuinely just didn’t like our
he used to ride the murder mile or some such by
music. Or us, particularly. Which is fair enough. It
Bexhill. So I know the name, though I’ve never
was their personal attacks and piss-taking of our
been there.
fans that really upset us.
You seem to be very much the focus of the film.
Is it weird watching back the early years of the
Isn’t it unusual for a bass player to get so much
band? It was great watching the early stuff. We
attention? How did it all come about? It was
had no idea some of that had been filmed. Obvi-
Dunstan’s idea. It’s his baby. We took him on the
ously you see me tracking down the footage from
Our Forgotten Towns tour of out-of-the-way places
Glastonbury ’92 in the film but the earlier stuff
back in 2010 to do a daily video blog. That worked
from ’88 was shot by mates of ours for their art col-
so well I think he pitched the idea of the film after
lege projects. We had to go to Australia to get some
that. I seemed the most comfortable in front of the
of that! It’s all going on the extras of the Curious Life
camera on that blog and don’t have any family com-
DVD.
mitments like the others, so they reckoned I should
What was Brighton like when the band started?
do it. Half of them hate being filmed anyway. As for
Brighton was a lot rougher and shabbier in the 80s.
bass players getting attention... Not all bass players
But there’s still a lot of alternative types here and
are made equal. Haha!
unusual characters. I love it! I’m not sure when we’ll
How much were The Levellers’ spats with the
be coming back but we almost certainly will at some
music press to do with the band’s politics? Well,
point. Interview by Ben Bailey
they hadn’t really heard of us ‘til we were playing
The Levellers play an acoustic show with a film
700-1000 cap venues and then they felt foolish for
screening at De La Warr Pavilion in Bexhill on Sat 28.
....
42....
local musicians
..........................................
Ben Bailey rounds up the Brighton music scene
THE SPOKEN HERD
Thurs 12, Komedia, 8pm, £5/3
Throw a dozen
musicians into
the ring with two
of Brighton’s top
MCs and sprinkle
with audience
suggestions. The
result is a washingmachine jumble of
genres, ideas and on-your-toes freestyling. Promising improvised film narrations and choose-yourown-adventure lyrical games, The Spoken Herd
take up their residency at Komedia this month
after similar stints at The Bee’s Mouth and Fortune of War. Led by Brighton rappers-about-town
Gramski and John Clark, the band brings the spirit
of hip hop ciphers to bear on the world of comedy
crowd participation, all wrapped up in eccentric
wordplay. It feels like anything can happen and if it
does it will probably rhyme.
BREATHE PANEL
Tues 13, The Hope, 8pm, £5
They only formed in August but Breathe Panel
have already had a song featured on a Beech Coma
compilation, been used in an Urban Outfitters
advert and reviewed in the NME. The track in
question, On My Way, is two-and-a-half minutes
of shimmery dream pop with an old-school indie
sheen and hints of bands like Deerhunter and Real
Estate. It’s also their only song, it seems. Curiously,
of the three gigs Breathe Panel have played, their
first was also at The Hope, one was in a WW2
bunker and the other was at Vice magazine’s
notorious Shoreditch HQ, The Old Blue Last.
Breakthrough talent or hipster hype? You decide!
....
THE ACADEMY OF SUN
Thurs 19, The Old Market, 8pm, £8
Garnering praise from artist-musician Meredith
Monk must have been encouraging for Nick
Hudson, the singer and pianist behind The
Academy Of Sun. Arguably a cross between an
avant-garde composer and a somewhat ambitious pop performer, this long-time Brighton
musician is just as likely to give us an extended
set of orchestral drones as he is to break out into
psychedelic rock or bring it down for a lyrically
mischievous piano ballad. The support is equally
diverse: a shoegaze space opera based on the myth
of Persephone from LA artist Carisa Bianca Mellado, and Thomas White’s new 10-piece jazz rock
project, Fiction Isle.
REMI MILES
Sun 22, Prince Albert, 8pm, £5
The Virginia-born
singer has been
knocking around
Brighton for a
while, but his recent
support slot for
The Ting Tings
saw him reinvented
as a suave and
suited pop star in
the making. While his previous output may have
been purged from the web in a Soviet-style PR
move, what remains is a fine piece of breezy soul
pop with a ‘Beat It’ bassline and a Duran Duran
groove. Written in 15 minutes after a night out
on the town, ‘I Want You’ comes with a vintage
video montage of what Brighton might look like if
it was full of 60s beatniks and 20s flappers roaring
around in sports cars. Squint and it could be real.
43....
Brighton ad_Layout 1 23/01/2015 17:03 Page 1
Learn Guitar, Have Fun
Est.1976
www.hobgoblin.com
Looking for guitar lessons
for you or your child?
NOW IN BRIGHTON!
The ALADDIN’S CAVE of MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
Brighton Guitar T u i t i o n
Play your favourite songs,
jam with others, get results fast!
"My progress
has been
astounding"
"The results were
almost instantaneous.
Amazing!"
Places are limited
Contact Vicki today to book your
FREE FIRST LESSON
07980 845 688
B rightonGuitarTuition. com
Guitars, Banjos, Mandolins, Ukuleles, Harps, Fiddles,
Autoharps, Dulcimers, Concertinas & Accordions,
Woodwind & Brass, Huge whistle selection. Drums,
Cajons, Bodhrans, Djembes, Shakers & much more,
Keyboards, Amps, Accessories & Books for all.
108 Queens Rd, Brighton BN1 3XF
01273 760022 | www.hobgoblin.com/brighton
Expert staff are always on hand to
give you free, friendly advice.
Out now:
SPRING
FEB -APR15
This season includes:
electro swing: white mink
comic innovation: simon munnery
March 2-28: sick! festival
£8 hilarity: laughtermarket
mark ravenhill’s: product
fringe award winner: pioneer
World exclusive: jo Nesbo
01273 201 801
theoldmarket.com
music
..............................
Gaz
Coombes
Ex-Hove ‘frenzy provoker’
Photo by Rankin, 2014
“From ’95 to ’98 was an extremely fast and high
that, maybe, we moved right into the centre, just
time,” says the former Supergrass frontman Gaz
off Western Road, in a little fisherman’s cottage.
Coombes. He was still a teenager in May 1995,
We were two doors away from the Princess Vic-
when the band’s first album was released. It was
toria pub. That was a great time; I didn’t have any
Parlophone’s fastest-selling debut since Please
kids and we were just living it up, going out all the
Please Me, and spent 36 weeks in the charts.
time and popping next door to the pub and falling
They had a big hit with Alright, and generally
home late that evening.
‘provoked frenzy’, in Caitlin Moran’s words. The
“I think Brighton was really moving up at that
band even had a meeting with Steven Spielberg,
point as well, musically. It was coming out of the
who wanted to make a TV series about them.
club thing to reveal some cool guitar music, and I
Songs they were working on for their second
think the band scene in Brighton was picking up
album were ‘among some of the most keenly
quite a lot, right through the late 90s, so timing-
anticipated of the Nineties,’ Moran claimed.
wise it was great for me, to go to great gigs and
This was the state of Coombes’ career at the start
feel that vibe.”
of 1997, when he and his long-term girlfriend
“We left around 2005/06, after we’d had our first
decided to move to Brighton.
child. I think all our mates were still living it up
He’d been happily living in a big house in Oxford
and had no kids yet. We suddenly found ourselves
with her, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey,
staying in loads more, and I guess we couldn’t
and a few other people, “but it got a little bit
enjoy the nightlife and that side of it… amongst
mental. There were a few violent crimes and a lot
other things. My mum was really ill at the time
of drugs, a lot of heroin around at that time, and
as well, which sort of pulled me back towards
a few people that I was close to got into all that
Oxford. But I look back and think for those nine
shit. It pushed me away from Oxford a bit. I don’t
years, it was just perfect; I’ve got nothing but
think we even knew many people in Brighton, we
great memories of Brighton. Every time I go
just felt it was a good spot to go to.”
back there I feel like there’s part of me that’s back
They started off renting in “a rural family street in
home.” Steve Ramsey
Hove,” which was an odd place for a young rock
Gaz Coombes’ second solo album, Matador, is out
star. “But we’d go into the centre most nights;
now; he performs at The Old Market on Thurs 5th,
there’s endless great pubs in Brighton. A year after
7.30pm, £15
....
45....
music
..........................................
Beki
Bondage
Punk’s not dead
I remember you on the front cover of the NME
and Melody Maker in the 80s. Did this sort of
thing go to your head? No it didn’t go to my head,
it was just a bit of fun, but I was very flattered to be
‘elected’ ‘Punk Prime Minister’.
When punk burst onto the scene it was largely
a teenage thing. How has it evolved over the
years? It’s still a teenage thing in poorer parts of the
world like Malaysia, as it allows you to belong to a
gang yet still retain your individuality and creativity.
Here in the UK it’s for all ages, and it’s definitely
but just sounds lazy in older bands. I think that you
less elitist than it was in the 80s and embraces other
have to remain defiant to stay sane and survive.
forms of music a lot more easily than it used to.
Once a punk, always a punk.
Perhaps alternative people have realised that as a
Has the way audiences react to Vice Squad
minority they need to stick together.
changed over the years? What sorts come to
So punk’s not dead? Punk’s cultural impact is
your gigs? In the early days the audiences were
huge, it’s now a world-wide movement and you
quite violent whereas they’re less intent on damag-
see and hear it everywhere in mainstream fashion
ing each other these days, though thankfully we still
and music. Every day kids all over the world pick
get mosh pits and stage divers. We get people of
up guitars because of punk, in fact in countries like
all ages and backgrounds: punks, goths, metalheads
Colombia they make their own guitars, but most
and skins and all the variations in between. Money
importantly they question the world around them
is tight these days so people want a good show for
rather than being apathetic. It’s great to see punk
their hard-earned cash and that’s what we deliver.
permeating different generations, seeing young kids
You refused to let EMI push you into the main-
at gigs and seeing older people who’ve stayed punk
stream. Why? Have you ever regretted this? I
through thick and thin.
was very young and naive and thought most main-
Have your attitudes softened? No, I’m a lot
stream music was lame and my whole life revolved
angrier about the world than I was in my teens
around punk, plus I was living at home with my
and it’s good to be able to express these feelings in
parents so didn’t realise how hard it is to survive on
songs. I’m a better songwriter nowadays and we
your own. After I’d left home and lived in poverty
have a bigger sound because we’ve been playing for
for a few years I sometimes regretted my decision,
years. I wouldn’t want us to sound like we did as
but in the long run it’s perhaps been for the best as
kids because being a bit out of tune or out of time is
we have our own label and are completely DIY. AL
charming and fresh in teenagers in their first band
Vice Squad, Prince, Albert, Friday 6 Feb, 8pm, £11.50
....
46....
music
..........................................
The Jesus and Mary Chain
‘We were always supposed to be a road map’
The shoe arcs through the
Too right.
air, and you can see for some
I ask him about his relation-
time that it’s going to hit the
ship with the music press:
big-haired young man sing-
those persistent comparisons
ing melodious lyrics which
with the Velvet Under-
sweeten the air through a
ground. “That was just lazy,”
wall of competing feedback
he says. “I mean if some-
from his brother’s guitar.
one tried to sum up your
It’s February 1986, and I’m
personality in two sentences,
watching my favourite band
it wouldn’t cover what you
of the time, The Jesus and
were all about, would it?”
Mary Chain, perform at
Does he think, I offer, trying
Lanchester Poly, Coventry.
to butter him up a little, that
The all-in-black foursome have been playing mate-
the music his band produced was itself influential?
rial from their album Psychocandy, which has been
“I’ve been told we’re still relevant to people who
out for three months, a collection of angst-ridden
have come along since,” he says. “We were brought
songs in their trademark bitter-sweet style, which
up on punk, but we forged way ahead. The Jesus and
has been billed ‘The Shangri-Las meet the Velvet
Mary Chain was always meant to be a road map.”
Underground’. They’ve been on for 26 minutes:
Reid’s relationship with his brother, Will, was
if the flying object connects with singer Jim Reid,
famously tempestuous. Has that dynamic, I wonder,
I know he will take the band off, never to return.
been a positive or a negative force to the Mary
The Mary Chain have become famous for their
Chain? “We argue a lot, but no bones were ever
ridiculously short sets.
broken. It was the sparks that fly from the relation-
29 years later, and I’m on the phone to Reid. I
ship that makes the band work.”
remind him about the gig, and about those angry
It’s interesting to hear the present tense. The band
stormings off. From the tone of his response, it’s
persistently topped the alternative charts, and even
not a well-chosen first question. “I’m so boooored
had a couple of top ten hits in the commercial ones
with people going on about those short gigs. It
before splitting in 1998, but reformed in 2005, and
only happened half a dozen times.” His accent is
in February are touring again, playing Psychocandy
Glaswegian: he’s soft spoken but there’s no disguis-
in its entirety, as well as a set of highlights from the
ing his slight annoyance. “I mean,” I persist, “you
rest of their repertoire. I’m inordinately excited by
were pretty surly back in those days: have you
this, having not seen them since that Lanchester
ever looked back on your interviews?”. “We were
Poly gig. The shoe hit him, by the way; the band
drunk and full of bravado, and we felt the world was
left the stage, never to return, and I still remember
against us. I bet you’d be cringing if there were clips
my disappointment. Alex Leith
of you hanging around drunk and in your twenties.”
The Jesus and Mary Chain, Brighton Dome, Feb 23
....
47....
t h e at r e
..........................................
Peter
James
An inspiring stag-night prank
Peter James’ friends were good at stag-night pranks.
One involved padlocking the groom to a seat on
an overnight train; he ended up in Edinburgh at
8am, four hours before he was due to be married in
Brighton.
Before James’ own wedding, when he was 30, he
was taken on a pub crawl around Sussex, which left
him very drunk. They ended up at a burger place
in Kemptown. “Then I was stripped naked by my
friends, everything except from my red socks, and
placed on top of a pillar box. Then they rang the
police and said there was this naked pervert in
Kemptown leering at people.
“I don’t remember that much about it. I think the
I’ll just make it all up’.”
police officers were grinning quite a lot, and one of
His first three published books were all “slightly
them said: ‘Old enough to know better.’ And I spent
tongue-in-cheek” spy stories. Then he had a big hit
part of the night in a cell.”
with Possession, a supernatural thriller, and allowed
At that point, James was working as a film producer,
himself to be labelled as a horror writer, which he
fulfilling one of his childhood ambitions. Having
later regretted.
been to film school, he got started in the industry
“In most of the books I wrote I had police charac-
after putting up some money for “a really cheap
ters, police involvement,” he says. After a burglary
low-budget horror film shooting in Florida,” he told
in the early 80s, he’d got to know some police of-
Viva in 2013. “Next thing I knew, I was co-pro-
ficers, and “found their world fascinating.” Then, in
ducing. It was a kind of starting point” for a varied
the 90s, he’d met a homicide detective called Dave
career in film: his credits include The Merchant of
Gaylor, who had advised him on procedural details
Venice and Blood Orgy of the She-Devils.
for two or three books.
Another of his youthful ambitions had been writing
“Macmillan approached me and asked if I’d ever
novels. He’d done three as a teenager, “which got
thought of writing a crime novel, creating a serious
me an agent but never got published,” he says now.
detective. I jumped at it; that was exactly what I
Sometime in the late 70s, James decided to try
wanted to do.” So he wrote a gripping book called
again, partly provoked by an article he read in the
Dead Simple, basing his detective on Gaylor, and
Times saying there was a shortage of spy thrillers.
centring the plot around something he had good
He thought: ‘I could write a spy thriller!’
experience of: stag-night pranks. Steve Ramsey
“I knew one person who had worked, I think, in
A stage adaptation of Dead Simple is at the Theatre
MI6. I said ‘can you tell me anything about it?’ She
Royal, Feb 23-28. His second spy thriller, Atom Bomb
said ‘I can’t, I’m not allowed to.’ So I thought ‘well,
Angel, has recently been reissued by Pan.
....
49....
l i t e r at u r e
..........................................
SJ Watson
Reveals his pre-sleep rituals
In 2009, Steve Watson was ac-
male or female.
cepted into the first Writing A
In the past, you mentioned
Novel course at the Faber Academy
that reading great books
in London. Two years later, the
inspires you to strive to be
resulting crime novel, Before I Go
a better writer. What is the
to Sleep, reached number seven on
most inspiring book you have
the US bestseller list – the highest
ever read? It changes, almost
position for a debut novel by a Brit-
daily. But in terms of the impact
ish author since JK Rowling. Since
a book has had on my life, I’d say
then, the book has been translated
Margaret Atwood’s The Hand-
into 42 languages and made into
maid’s Tale. It was after reading
a movie starring Nicole Kidman
it that I decided I didn’t want to
and Colin Firth. Watson’s highly
waste any more time in a job that
anticipated new novel, Second Life,
wasn’t making me happy. I felt it
is released on 12th February.
was time to start taking my own
You studied physics at the
writing seriously.
University of Birmingham and worked as an
So far, you have written psychological thrillers.
audiologist with hearing-impaired children
Do you ever think about writing a humorous
for the NHS in London. When did you real-
novel? I’d never rule it out. But my sense of hu-
ize you wanted to be a writer instead? I’ve
mour is pretty dark. It might end up being a book
always wanted to be a writer, for as long as I can
that only I find funny.
remember, and I’ve always written for my own
What do you do before you go to sleep? It
amusement and satisfaction. My career was a
depends. I brush my teeth. I might read a book. If
practical, sensible decision, but in the back of my
I’m away from home I’ll usually text my partner.
mind I always carried around the idea that one day
But I don’t have rituals. I don’t chant, or meditate.
I would start writing seriously and see if I could
Perhaps I should…
make a go of it.
And lastly, London or Brighton? I love them
Did you decide to use SJ Watson instead of
both and hope I’ll never have to choose! But I’ve
Steve so that people wouldn’t mistake you
ended up living in London so, while I have very
for the Birmingham footballer, or do you just
good friends in Brighton and I love to visit, I guess
think initials have more gravitas? I had no idea
that means my heart’s really there.
there was a Birmingham footballer called Steve
Black Mustard
Watson! I’m not really a huge follower of football,
SJ Watson will be reading from Second Life at the
to be honest. It was really because I felt SJ Watson
Ropetackle Art Centre, Little High Street, Shore-
sounded more ‘writerly’. And also because I liked
ham, on 18th February. Tickets from
the idea of people not being sure whether I was
www.citybooks.co.uk.
....
50....
l i t e r at u r e
..........................................
Jo Bloom
Fascism in the East End
Set in London’s East End in 1962, Ridley Road is a
The attention to period detail in the novel is im-
fictional love story woven in with real events – the
peccable. “I wanted everything to feel authentic,”
Jewish community’s street-level resistance to re-
says Bloom, whose mother is a hairdresser… and
surgent Fascism. The idea for the novel was born
whose cousin is the famous stylist Daniel Herche-
when Jo Bloom heard her father talking about
son. “The hair, the clothes, the food.” (FYI, the
the old days in the East End (where he grew up),
characters mostly eat egg and chips). Historical
mentioning the infamous ‘62 Group’. “I had no
research took her to the Hackney Archives and
idea about Fascism in 60s London. I knew I had to
to Pathé reels, but the richest resource she found
write about it.”
closer to home. “My parents courted in Soho
Bloom has run in jeans and wellies through mon-
coffee bars in the 60s, whilst my grandparents had
soon rains to Lark on Lowther, a bookish café near
a fish shop on Cable Street. So we took a road
Preston Park, to talk about her debut novel. She
trip around the old haunts and I taped my parents
sits steaming, drinking tea. “I was brought up in a
talking about it all.”
synagogue, but I could never have done the whole
Has she ever moved cities for a man? “No,” says
North London Jewish thing. I am the second of
Jo. Work (not-for-profit agencies, journalism, PR)
three sisters, the rebel. My sisters have embraced
took her to Prague, New York and South London,
the culture. I couldn’t keep up with the look, for a
and she moved to Brighton when she was 30,
start! Nor the lunches. I’m anti-social. Most days I
“for a balcony on the seafront”. Now she has a
stay home writing in my pyjamas.”
husband, a four-year-old son and a two-book deal.
Ridley Road’s heroine is, on the other hand, care-
Is there any further to go? “I’d like to see Vivien
fully dressed. Vivien Epstein is a young hairdresser
on the big screen.” BM
who moves from Manchester to London to look
Ridley Road by Jo Bloom is published by Weidenfeld
for a man with whom she has had a brief romance.
& Nicholson.
bookends
On Friday 27th Feb the refurbished
Guide to Kashgar) about the works of
Exeter Street Hall opens for the second
art that have inspired or influenced
in a new monthly series of literary
their three novels - from paintings to
events. At Kindling a Story (how visual
sculptures to 17th-century missionary
art sparked three novels) Worthing-
maps. Kindling a story is a free event,
based writer Niyati Keni will read
so come early, grab a drink at the bar,
extracts from her debut novel Esperanza
kick back and enjoy. Readings start at
Street, and talk on stage with Vanessa
7pm. Bar opens at 6:30. BM
Gebbie (author of The Coward’s Tale)
Exeter Street Hall, 16-17 Exeter Street,
and Suzanne Joinson (The Lady Cyclist’s
Brighton, BN1 5PG
....
51....
flash fact competition
..........................................
Resolution
by Jon Edgell
Midnight was a way off and the party was dragging, so I had the idea to turn the clock forward.
As The Monster Raving Loony Party had realised
in their proposal to decimalise time (thereby
and February!) a time and date is only a number,
a finite time in which to finish their ‘to do’ list.”
so in the spirit of Interstellar why not bend it?
“My cat’s New Year’s resolution is to sleep more”,
Formalities over early, we wandered back to Dave’s
I added unhelpfully.
flat to catch Jools Holland’s (ironically pre-record-
Ignoring my flippancy Dave reached towards the
ed) Hootenanny. As Jools’ guests reviewed their
CD player. As minimalist piano notes began to
year, Dave and I turned our attention to the future.
loop hypnotically, he asked “What do you hear?”
“I resolve to spend more quality time with my
“Nothing?” I suggested.
son,” I boldly stated.
“...Or everything?” Dave countered mysteriously.
“I’ve got good news that will help,” Dave said. “In
“Your ear expects questions and answers. But that
2015 nice Mr. Cameron is giving us an extra second.”
relies on memory and expectation in our regular
This was true, but alarmingly nothing to do with
horizontal timeframe. But here the usual waves
an election year, but rather a deceleration in the
of tension and resolution are missing. You are left
Earth’s rotation!
with nothing upon which to hang your perception
“This extra second will pass largely unnoticed,
of the passing of time!”
save for a few computer programmers who will be
I was starting to feel dizzy.
having millennium bug flashbacks.”
“Your awareness begins to focus on previously in-
Dave paused before venturing deeper into the
visible details as you leave behind horizontal time
gathering fog of Prosecco: “Time flies when you
and enter the magical realm of vertical time! Being
are having fun or drags when you are bored, but
fully present in the moment, that’s true quality
perception of time in our memory works the op-
time, that’s how you can resolve to make that extra
posite way, so a year spent travelling seems longer
second with your son count!” he concluded with
in memory than a year at the office. Time becomes
a flourish.
meaningless without memory and we humans have
I wasn’t sure about the music expanding vertical
a unique consciousness that allows us to live in
time but it was having a profound effect; I had to
the past or the future, which is actually more of a
ask Dave to turn it off - it was making me feel sick.
curse than a useful superpower.”
Dave and Jon were listening to Six Pianos by Steve Reich.
“My cat has a memory - she remembers where she
lives,” I argued.
Next month’s prompt is ‘Invisible’. True Life Stories
“Maybe, but cats don’t make New Year’s resolu-
of no more than 400 words, in by 12th Feb please.
tions. They don’t even know what time it is, or
The winning entry gets published here and receives
how old they are. They don’t know that they have
a £20 book token from Kemptown Bookshop
....
53....
Illustration by Lucy Williams
ingeniously banishing the cold months of January
BBM
Sustainable
Design
Great looking buildings
without costing the earth
www.bbm-architects.co.uk
art
..........................................
F o c u s o n : Colin Ruffell
Brighton Beach, Acrylograph
What is an ‘acrylograph’? It’s a technique I’ve
own work. This allowed me to self-publish my
developed myself to produce unique original
work, and experiment with prints that had been
hybrid-technique prints. I paint a picture, using
digitally manipulated. Acrylographs are the end
acrylic paint on canvas, and then, when I feel it’s
result of all these experiments.
ready, I’ll make a giclée scan of it. After turning
There’s something strange about that
this into a digital file, I’ll manipulate it in Photo-
seafront scene… My aim isn’t to reproduce
shop on the computer. Then it’s printed out, and
scenes photographically, but rather to stylise
I’ll add more paint marks on top of that, adding
them so they become more like how your mind
texture. You can do things on the computer that
remembers them. If there are two buildings with
you can’t do in the studio, and vice versa, so it’s a
a boring space between them, your memory will
mix of old and new technology. The beauty of it
edit the space out, and I often do the same. So in
is that every print’s completely original.
real life these stairs don’t lead to what’s below.
Are you an ‘early adopter’? When I was study-
Which artists have influenced you the most?
ing at Portsmouth Art School we were given
The paintings in the show have been influenced
acrylic paint – then a new discovery – to try out.
by the impressionists and post-impressionists,
So I started using it with enthusiasm – we were
and I always have to pay homage to the bril-
given a year’s supply – and became something of
liance of Turner. But also Ken Howard, and peo-
a guinea pig, in this country. It was similar with
ple like that. My favourite artist ever is Rothko,
giclée prints – I was at a trade show in the early
but the works in this show are nothing like his.
90s, and I saw somebody trying to introduce
What painting would you hang on your
the concept of the large-format colour digital
desert island palm tree? One of my own, of
printer into the art world. I bought an early
my family, painted on a four-foot-square canvas
version of one of these machines – people didn’t
adapting a drawing by my then four-year-old
know how to pronounce the word, they just
daughter. Alex Leith
said ‘gickle’ – and started to use it to print my
Colin’s solo show, Art 35 North, till Feb 17th.
....
55....
design
..........................................
....
56....
design
..........................................
Jenny King Embroidery
‘The crack cocaine of the craft world’
What do you do? I
each have their own
design high-end embroi-
‘handwriting’, when we
deries for fashion and
are in production the
furnishing designers. I
embroideries have to
also run one of the only
be super-accurate so
studios left in the UK to
they follow my original
use Irish Industrial em-
design and really pay
broidery machines, which
attention to detail.
they stopped making in
Because the Irish stitch
the 1950s or 60s. They
is so specific, this is an
are highly specialised
instant signature too,
although working in
machines: freehand, and
with a knee bar that dictates the width of the stitch.
fashion you need to constantly reinvent yourself.
How did you come to do this? I was fortunate to
We use our clients’ colours, fabrics and inspiration,
go to the Royal College of Art. My tutor was Ka-
so our studio signature is often blended into theirs.
ren Nicol - who’s like the Irish Embroidery Queen
Have you worked on a project that reinvented
- and I just took to it. Karen really encouraged me
embroidery for you? We did an embroidered
and when I left university I worked for her.
room for Stella McCartney. It was for the foyer of
What attracts you to embroidery? If you’ve got
her house apparently, and the panels were huge…
the skills, it’s fast, and the finish is so good. It’s
loads of wisteria, with birds flying and reeds com-
also versatile: you can transfer designs from direct
ing up in muted greens and purples.
images or work freehand. A lot of the dresses we
Is there a professional community you associ-
do can be embroidered, once everything is set up,
ate with locally? We are based in New England
in one or two days. We recently did a dress for
House, which is full of creative companies. We
Vivienne Westwood that took 15, but that was a
have collaborated with a couple of textile studios
completely full-on one-off.
there - Bobble and Larch Rose. Not many of our
Using vintage machines, is your work informed
clients are based in Brighton but we have created
by history? It’s always inspirational looking at
embroideries for Noki and Ong-Oaj Pairam.
old embroideries but I constantly want to make it
Is machine embroidery “the crack cocaine of
modern, move it forward. We have a digital ma-
the craft world,” as Kirstie Allsopp said? Well,
chine, which is amazing. We can do embroideries
yeah! Actually, one of the girls was saying that over
that are physically impossible without it. Freehand
Christmas she hadn’t embroidered for three days
and digital, both are equally important.
and she started to feel a bit funny! There are risks
Do you have a signature style? I do, and the
too. Most of us have stitched through our fingers
studio does as well. I have trained all the girls
at some point. It’s all part of the job. Chloë King
that work for me from scratch. Although they
jennykingembroidery.com
....
57....
The lowdown on...
................................
Comping
Di Coke, serial competition winner
When I was in my
People ask me if I win a
early twenties, in the
lot of useless stuff, but
90s, I loved going to
I’ve learnt never to go in for
festivals, but couldn’t
competitions where I don’t
afford tickets. There
want to win the prize. And
were always competi-
I’m never short of presents.
tions in the music press
Nowadays I make up a wish
giving them away, so I
list, and search online – Twit-
started entering them,
ter is good – for relevant
and started winning.
competitions. At the moment
There were a lot more
I’m looking for an iPad and
postcard competi-
kitchen fittings.
tions then; I sent one off for Reading tickets
The best prize I won was a VW Beetle, my
with a picture of me with all my camping gear
favourite car. In 17 years of comping I’ve won
saying ‘totally ready, just need tickets’. I won the
over £250,000 worth of prizes.
competition, and it made me realise that however
I’m a member of the Brighton Comping
random the draw is meant to be, if you do some-
Club. There are about 20 of us and we meet
thing eye catching, you’re more likely to win.
every three weeks to swap news about competi-
I started winning other prizes: a guitar signed
tions and talk about what we’ve won. You might
by Noel Gallagher; a year’s supply of lager. I
think that swapping tips makes you less likely to
started looking further afield and realised there
win, but we all believe in ‘comping karma’: what
were a lot of competitions out there.
goes round comes round. I’ve recently helped
The first holiday I won was to Iceland. When
two friends win cars.
I met my husband ten years ago he thought I was
One of the latest competitions I’ve won is for
a lunatic because of my hobby, but he changed
front-row seats at the London Fashion Week,
his tune after I took him to LA and Barcelona.
plus a night at a hotel. I’m taking a friend. I
Now he enters competitions occasionally – he
haven’t got a clue what to wear: I’m going to have
won a day cooking with Heston Blumenthal at
to win something!
the Fat Duck. You can’t buy experiences like that,
You can’t make a living out of comping, but I
but you can win them.
might be able to by writing about comping. A
Most competitions are random draws but
year ago I left my job in social media in order to
you have more chance of winning if you enter
write a book giving 100 tips to readers interested
one that requires a bit of effort, whether that’s
in this wonderful world. As told to Alex Leith
making a video, posting a photo, or putting a
Di is pictured wearing the Merrimaking animal
comment on a blog. Your chances are much
hood she won in a Viva Brighton competition.
better because far fewer people can be bothered
Check her out on her website superlucky.me or
to enter.
@SuperLuckyDi
....
59....
trade secrets
..........................................
Dometria
World-renowned dominatrix
Nervous, I knock at the metal door on Little
She tells me some of the stuff she does: it sounds
Preston Street. After a minute or more it opens,
akin to what you might expect happening in a
revealing a raven-haired woman wearing a black
torture chamber.
latex mini-dress that leaves exposed a pair of
Everything she does, she stresses, is safe, though,
extraordinarily muscular, tattooed arms. I clock
as she knows how far to push things. She might
stiletto heels, shining eyes, powerful features,
make her ‘players’ pass out repeatedly, but they’ll
bulging breasts. This is Dometria, a dominatrix
always wake up again. “Did you know they do
of worldwide fame, and I’m about to enter her
diplomas in suffocation and strangulation?” she
dungeon.
reveals. “My teacher said, D, you’re a blinding
I’ve got to hear of Dometria though Stephanie
good suffocator”.
De Palma, a Brighton-based New York film
“Everyone has an itch to scratch,” she says, “and I
maker who has been working on a documentary
am doing my players a favour. They come back to
about her, called The Boss Lady. My knowledge
me because this is what they want to happen. And
of the world of BDSM (bondage, dominance
it’s not all violent. For every whip stroke, there’s a
and sadomasochism) has so far been slim – I
caress. There is a great deal of love between these
haven’t even read Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m led
walls… and when my players walk out the door,
downstairs, into the basement.
with their endorphins coursing through their
I get the impression that this is much more
veins, they feel as big as lions.”
hard-core than Fifty Shades. We walk past a
All Dometria’s work is legal, and she runs a tight,
room that looks like a dentist’s surgery and
above-board ship. “My players come from all over
into another, with a large neon sign on one
the world: if they thought the place might be
wall spelling out ‘Dometria’, and a number of
raided, they would go elsewhere.” She earns £150
BDSM implements hung up opposite. I make
an hour, which she has always charged: “it’s cheap,
out long leather whips, metal clamps, gas masks.
but I like players to feel they can come to me for
A third room beyond, little bigger than a coal
four or five-hour sessions, and we can really go
store, looks like a medieval torture chamber,
in deep.” She assiduously pays her taxes, using
with wrist irons nailed to the wall.
an accountant who specialises in adult indus-
I sit on a chair that I realise many others have
try clients. Her home life is ultra-normal. “On
been tied to, and she tells me about her work.
Saturday I like to go home, kick my shoes off, and
It has nothing to do with prostitution, she says,
watch random crap on TV, letting my kids boss
as there is no sex involved, ‘just consensual play
me around.” Two of her children still live at home
between adults’. The word ‘play’ is relevant
with her. Her eldest son is a prison guard. She has
here: she calls her clients ‘players’, and sees her
four grandchildren.
job as ‘pushing them just beyond their limits’.
I leave the dungeon with the impression that
....
60....
Photos by Adam Bronkhorst, www.adambronkhorst.com
through her line of work she has empowered
severe pain in Stephanie’s documentary, says: “I
herself – her path to her current situation was
have been with various mistresses over the years
a tough and violent one - but also that she
but none of them has the capacity to empathise
empowers her clients, too, or at least helps them
the way she does. It’s extraordinary.”
release some of their demons, a process she
terms ‘defragging’. She is providing a service, in
Interview by Alex Leith, photo by Adam Bronkhorst
effect, which is much appreciated by those who
For info about The Boss Lady documentary contact
need it. As one regular ‘player’, who endures
[email protected]
....
61....
....
62....
Photos by Adam Bronkhorst, www.adambronkhorst.com
talking shop
..........................................
Julian Stephens
‘Connect with a stone before you buy it’
Which pieces are
business side of
most popular in
things, when what
February? At this
I really want to be
time of year, we’re
doing is making
especially busy mak-
jewellery. We
ing wedding rings as
do everything
summer is a popular
in-house – all
season for weddings.
of the graphics,
Choosing the rings
photography and
is a really personal
marketing – so the
admin can really
part of the wedding
and it’s so special for me to get to be a part of
mount up. Some weeks I get to spend maybe half
that. Often people become very emotional when
of my time at the bench, but sometimes I don’t
they see their rings for the first time. People get
get there at all. It can be quite stressful, but I have
really into the symbolism behind the design;
a great team of six staff who help with making
once I designed a pair of rings for a couple which
jewellery, running the shop and managing PR.
slot together while they’re worn. Another couple
Because of the highly personalised nature of my
sent their wedding rings around the world to
work, and the fact that each piece is one-off and
friends and family in various countries before the
individual, there are so many different techniques
wedding, so that each person was connected to
to learn. That’s what I love about this craft - I’ve
the occasion.
been making jewellery for 25 years now, but I
What advice would you give to someone
never stop learning.
on choosing a stone? Go to a local jeweller.
What do you think will be the future of lo-
You can buy diamonds online now and because
cal jewellers? The future of local independent
they’re graded and certificated, people think that
craftspeople like me entirely depends on the
they know what they’re buying, but really there
demand for unique, hand-crafted jewellery. We
can be a lot of variation between one stone and
have been in business here in the North Laine
the next. When you come to someone like me, I
for 13 years, through a recession, and we have
can give you a choice of three or four diamonds
obviously tapped into the right market as our
which are around your budget and you have
customers keep coming back to us. There is of
a choice. It also gives you a chance to connect
course a place for chain stores and mass produced
with a stone before you buy it, which is really
jewellery, but I don’t feel we compete; their mar-
important.
ket is their own. Chain stores cannot provide the
How do you balance making jewellery with
service, skill, knowledge or quality of craftsman-
the running of the shop? The biggest challenge
ship that an independent can. RC
for me as a craftsperson is keeping on top of the
37 Gloucester Road, julianstephens.com
....
63....
....
64....
brighton maker
................................
Corpo Sancto
When the game is worth the candle
How did Corpo Sancto begin? It all started last
grown in the UK or EU and certified non-GM,
Christmas when my husband asked how candles
so it has a very low carbon footprint.
are made... He did lots of research, I think he
What has been the most challenging part of
even found a book on candle-making for dum-
running your business? The biggest challenge
mies, and started experimenting with different
is time. We both have other jobs; I manage Into
ingredients. It’s much more complicated than
You Tattoo on Little East Street and my husband
you’d expect, the wick has to be exactly the right
is in a heavy metal band called Orange Goblin,
size for the candle or else it won’t burn, and you
so he’s often away on tour. We don’t have the
have to get the balance of ingredients exactly
storage space to make large orders so we have to
right. We started making the candles last Febru-
work in smaller batches. We spend most evenings
ary and it’s taken off from there. It was really
making candles and our kids, who are four and
difficult to choose a name which suited us, but in
eight, even do their bit by helping putting boxes
the end we came up with Corpo Sancto, which is
together! Obviously working with my husband so
what the Portuguese call St. Elmo’s Fire, after our
much there are quite a few arguments involved...
son, Elmo.
but we get it all done in the end.
How did you decide which ingredients were
How do you develop the different scents? It’s
best? The whole process has been a learning
mostly trial and error. We like experimenting
curve. We started off using paraffin wax, which
with different ingredients, like Frankincense and
most candles are made from, but it’s not very nice
Myrrh or Bergamot and Rosewood. One of the
to work with. It stains your clothes and you have
most popular ones at the moment is called Log
to be quite careful with it, particularly as we were
Fire, which smells amazing and the wooden wicks
making the candles in our own home. I hadn’t
we use create a beautiful crackling effect. Another
really considered what went into candles before
new one which we’ve recently launched is the
we started making them, but it seemed like a
Biker Jacket, which smells of leather and motor
better idea to use something more natural, so we
oil. We use natural, sustainable ingredients where
tried soya wax. Once we started sourcing this, we
possible, but equally, we don’t want to compro-
found that it was all grown in South America, and
mise on the cool. I can’t tell you exactly how we
it didn’t feel right to be importing the wax from
make them smell so good, that’s our secret.
so far away. That was when we found out about
Annelie Turner interviewed by Rebecca Cunningham
rapeseed wax, which we currently use. It’s all
www.corpo-sancto.com
....
65....
To quote Roger Protz
“This is truly
magnificent beer,
the very best of
British”
Photos by Katie Moorman
brighton maker
................................
Chris Hawkins
‘Handmade things have a kind of soul’
“It still pleases me when I see someone wearing my
surprisingly high level of definition, but to enhance
jewellery, even after 20 years.” Chris Hawkins, jew-
the more intricate parts of the design, he carves out
ellery designer and maker, produces all of creations
the details using a set of hand tools. “I nearly always
in his studio, a converted coach-house just off
work in silver, because the shapes I like to make are
London Road. “The inspiration for my collections
often larger and I like the jewellery to feel heavy,
will often come from a natural object I’ve found, or
so to produce my designs in gold would just make
something I’ve seen in a museum collection. I like
them too expensive.” To finish, he uses oxidisation
things from the past, and looking at how they were
to create the blackened detailing, and applies stones
made.” And it is this historical influence, perhaps,
to certain pieces to add a bit of sparkle. “I quite
which draws Chris towards using traditional meth-
often use garnets and sapphires, because I like their
ods in his own practice. “A lot of design has taken a
characteristic colours, but for certain pieces I use
more digital direction but I haven’t really gone that
rubies.” One of these includes a necklace with a
way, I like to draw and carve my designs by hand.
pendant cast in the shape of a hand, life-like down
I find there is often something lacking about an
to the delicate creases in the palm, itself wearing a
object rendered from a computer programme – it
tiny ruby ring.
has a uniformity which is inherent in the digital
With a certain day approaching, has Chris got any-
process. But things which are made by hand have
thing in particular in mind at the moment? “I guess
a kind of soul which you can’t replicate through
my style isn’t very Valentinesy... but I do make a few
digital design.”
engagement rings. The antler engagement ring is
Chris learned the process of making jewellery dur-
my own take on the traditional solitaire ring with a
ing an apprenticeship with Lewes-based jeweller
pink or blue sapphire, and the wedding ring has a
Jonathan Swan. “I begin by carving the design into
matching band so everything slots together.”
a piece of wax, starting with the basic shape and
Interview by Rebeccca Cunningham
gradually working in the details,” Chris explains.
Chris’ designs are stocked by local shops Baroque,
When finished, this piece is sent off and a plaster
on Union Street, and Cameron Contemporary Art
mould is made from it, which is used to cast the
on Second Avenue. Check out chrishawkinsjewellery.
final piece of jewellery. The process achieves a
com for more of Chris’ work.
....
67....
....
68....
Photos by Lizzie Lower
talking shop
..........................................
Magazine Brighton
Like vinyl but print
What is Magazine Brighton? We’re a shop
ton Bear style, when my father put me on the train
stocking independent magazines. Basically, if you
and instructed a stranger to look out for me until
can get it in WH Smith, then we won’t stock it
my aunt met me at Brighton station. I moved here
(except Monocle). We have around 200 titles at any
around ten years ago and knew immediately that
one time and over 4000 on our database, and we’re
Brighton could support a shop like this. In my
always open to new suggestions. Our titles cover
previous work life I had the great fortune to travel
arts & culture, current affairs, fashion, design &
extensively and would always seek out a shop like
photography, gender, physical activity and travel,
this wherever I went. Finding those shops always
and all are published by passionate people from all
led me to discovering great places that celebrated
over the world. We wanted to create the space for
difference. Brighton is a place that gets difference.
the magazines to be seen and a place for people to
What’s your favourite title? It’s impossible to
enjoy them.
pick favourites but Paracetamol, written by my
Why magazines? It all started when I was nine
granddaughter’s friend Constance, reminds me of
and ran the Medway Gazette with my friends Mick
my younger self. And Dumbo Feather, an Australian
and John. We printed 45 copies fortnightly, which
magazine about obscure but super-interesting
we sold for a penny ha’penny. Our biggest coup
people who never get written about, is up there.
came when Mick’s sister - who was secretary of the
Who buys what magazine? The people who
Liberace Fan Club – gave us his UK tour dates
come into the shop are all interesting but it’s
before anyone else. Obviously we held the front
impossible to predict who will buy what. Kinfolk
page; we did things properly back then, with green
and The Gentlewoman are popular but Puss Puss – a
visors and braces. We scooped the Daily Mirror by
magazine about fashion and cats that I thought
a couple of weeks and it’s still one of my top-five
might be too obscure - has sold out and people
life achievements. I’ve loved magazines ever since.
seek out new titles all of the time. My son-in-law
The independent print movement has really taken
aptly describes what we’re doing as ‘like vinyl but
off in all its gorgeousness over the past 15 years
print’. We appeal to the type of person who gets
and around a decade ago, when I put down my
vinyl; who gets micro-breweries and real bread.
successful-but-bonkers business life, I asked myself
Lots of Brightonians get that.
what I really wanted to do and the answer was this.
Martin Skelton interviewed by Lizzie Lower
Why Brighton? I came here as a child, Padding-
22 Trafalgar Street, magazinebrighton.com
....
69....
ANGELIC HELL
TATTOO
2 NORTH ROAD
BRIGHTON
BN1 1YA
TEL. 01273 697681
WWW.ANGELICHELLTATTOO.COM
t h e way w e wo r k
This month Adam Bronkhorst has been round a number of Brighton tattoo parlours,
asking the artists to take a break from their guns and needles to pose for
his artful shots, bathed in chiaroscuro, Caravaggio style.
And we asked them all: what was your first tattoo?
www.adambronkhorst.com
Dan Frye at Angelic Hell.
The first tattoo I got was “Rock” and a diamond on my right arm.
The second was “Roll” with a dice on my left.
....
71....
t h e way w e wo r k
Will Barbour-Brown at Blue Dragon.
I got my first tattoo when I was 20, so quite late for a tattooist.
I had some writing on the back of my neck, but I got it covered up a while back.
....
72....
t h e way w e wo r k
Kirsty Simpson at Dead Slow (formerly Nine).
My first tattoo was a black and grey Tibetan-style lotus flower on my lower back.
I had it done in Leeds when I was 19.
....
73....
t h e way w e wo r k
Dave Bremer at Tattoo & Co.
When I was 15 I got my own name tattooed on my arm,
just in case I ever got hit on the head and needed identifying.
....
74....
t h e way w e wo r k
James ‘Woody’ Woodford at Into You.
My first tattoo was a little black lizard. I got it done when I was 16.
....
75....
t h e way w e wo r k
James Robinson at Gilded Cage.
I got a tribal gecko when I was 16. I have photos of when it was first done and it
was on my hip, but now that I’m a bit older, it’s a little further down my side...
....
77....
food review
...........................................
The Croque Shop
Cheese and ham toastie, French style
I still remember my first Croque-Monsieur. I
was 16, on holiday in France, and I immediately
realised that they did better cheese-and-ham toasties than us. They’ve been a favourite ever since: I
tried the Croque-Madame once (the same with an
egg on top) and I thought ‘drop the egg’.
So, within a day of receiving the news that ‘The
Croque Shop’ has recently opened on Duke
Street, I pay a visit. A passage on the wall informs
me that the term comes from the French verb
‘croquer’, to crunch, they’ve been around since
1910, and Proust mentions them.
A look at the menu reveals that Monsieur and
Madame have had a family: I can choose a ‘Swiss’
croque, or a ‘Bangers’ croque, or an ‘Indianne’
croque (with curried chicken), or a ‘Veggie’
croque, among many others. Prone to cross-
cultural experimentation, I’m extremely tempted
by a ‘New Yorker’, with beef brisket, cream cheese,
dill pickle and mustard, on brown. But then I
think ‘why mess with perfection?’ and go for a trad
Monsieur, on white. There’s just room to sit.
The verdict? I could have done with a metal knife
and fork, but once I’ve cut off a tranche, and
impatiently allowed it a good few seconds to cool,
a definite thumbs up. The crunch of the bread,
the tang of the cheese, the heft of the ham, the
succulence of the bechemel sauce, it’s a winning
combination. Not the healthiest of lunch options,
granted, but, hell, it’s a Friday and thus perfect for
a little bit of self-indulgence. DL
food review
...........................................
Regency Restaurant
Big in China... but why?
Emilio and Roberto
tery. Just as she was
Savvides have no idea
about to give up, she
who to thank. They
discovered that the
don’t know who
restaurant’s name isn’t
wrote it, or what it
directly translated,
said, or where it was
but rendered as 丽绅
posted. What they do
士, which means, ap-
know is that around
proximately, ‘beautiful
2011, someone
gentleman’. This led
wrote something
on the internet, in
her to the person she
Photo Wu Fang
thinks started it all:
Chinese, about their fish restaurant, the Regency,
Pauline Guo, founder of Red Scarf, a Chinese-
on Brighton seafront. Whatever was written,
language website about the UK.
presumably high praise, caused the restaurant to
Guo’s original post on Red Scarf doesn’t seem to
become suddenly popular with Chinese tourists.
be there anymore, but the International Business
This was completely unexpected and conveni-
Times agrees that it ‘could’ve been responsible
ently timed: the Savvides brothers were facing
for the initial wave of Chinese customers’. She
the second recession since the mid-80s, when
reportedly posted the recommendation ‘without
they’d quit their jobs in insurance (Emilio)
even trying the food there,’ having read positive
and construction (Roberto) to take over the
reviews in English.
then-dilapidated Regency. The latter recession
Nowadays, though, there are lots of Chinese
had a noticeable effect on business, Emilio says,
websites which talk about the Regency, and its
“but because of our Chinese visitors, it’s seen us
fame in China is such that, Emilio says, “there
through with no problems.”
are evenings when I would say something like
When the trend started, Emilio didn’t really pay
65-75% of our customers are Chinese.
much attention. “But as time goes by, obviously
“It’s come to a point where it’s on their list of
you start thinking: ‘I wonder why…’
things to do when they come to the UK; they go
“We’ve asked quite a number of our Chinese
to London to visit the sights, and they have to
visitors. The problem is that we get different
come to Brighton to have lobster and shellfish.”
versions of how we became popular. We asked
When Fang and I visited, though it was well
one group, who said there was a high-ranking
outside of tourist season, about a third of the
Chinese politician that came, enjoyed it, went
customers could have passed for Chinese holi-
back and wrote about it online. Others say it was
daymakers. And, as we were leaving, we watched
a famous chef. You get different stories, and we
another big group fitting that description walk
don’t really know.”
in. It is, as Emilio suggests, a strange example of
I persuaded a friend, Wu Fang, to search the
the power of the internet. Steve Ramsey
Chinese-language web to try and solve the mys-
The Regency, 131 Kings Road, 01273 325014
....
79....
....
80....
food
...............................
Raviolo of Brighton Blue
Combining his passion for local food and his experience of cooking on
three continents, Semolina chef Orson Whitfield tries out a new dish...
I moved to England 15 years ago, from Atlanta,
Semolina is named after probably the most used
Georgia. Before that I’d lived in Liberia, and in
ingredient in Italy. It means ‘half-milled’ and when
Italy before that. I’ve only cooked professionally in
ground down to a finer flour it’s used to make
England, but I’ve been cooking at home since my
pasta, like the raviolo I’m making today. For this
teenage years. My parents both worked and I’m the
dish I’m using 00-grade flour, which is finer than
oldest of four siblings, so I was given the respon-
plain white. I mix it together with eggs, a pinch of
sibility of making dinner for the family. My mum’s
sea salt and a little olive oil to form a pastry, and
Italian and Ethiopian, my dad’s West African, and
then roll it out into a sheet and cut out the two
they both cooked at home – we rarely ate out.
sides of the raviolo using a pastry cutter. Next I
When I started studying, I was quite old compared
fill the parcel with Brighton Blue cheese, a little
to most students – everyone else was 16 and I was
oregano and some puréed potato, to help keep the
26. I took a Hospitality Management degree, which
structure of the raviolo and to stop the cheese from
included an industrial placement year at a hotel.
melting out when it’s cooked. These just need to
I was supposed to have training in three different
be blanched in salted water for a few minutes just
departments, the first being food. After one week
before serving.
there I went back to my course supervisor and told
We change our menu every month, based on what’s
him that I loved being in the kitchen, and that that
in season. This week I got an e-mail from our local
was where I wanted to be. He told me that it was
vegetable supplier saying that they’d have plenty of
my decision, but that it might be more difficult for
purple sprouting broccoli for a bit, so I’ve incorpo-
me, being a bit older. I decided to go off anyway
rated it into this dish for our February menu.
and see how long I could last in the chef world.
The cauliflower purée – made with cooked cauli-
That was in 2001.
flower, a little milk and butter - forms the first of
I went on to work at the Runnymede Hotel in
the three textures of brassica, topped with a drizzle
Egham, where I met my [Czech] wife Linda,
of sage butter to add a bit of flavour. The second
and then at the Wharf restaurant in Teddington,
texture is the kale, which is fried to a crisp, and the
where I learned a lot about the business side of
third is the purple sprouting broccoli, which has
the industry and the day-to-day running of the
been blanched, refreshed in ice water, and then
kitchen. When we came to Brighton, Linda and
sautéed. To finish, I toast some chopped walnuts in
I were looking for a place to run ourselves, and
salt and sugar, and sprinkle them over the dish.
we thought the best way to do this would be to
I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually tried this one yet...
franchise pub kitchens; I would do the cooking and
I only thought it up last night.
she would do the front of house. We managed the
kitchens at The Geese in Hanover and then The
As told to Rebecca Cunningham. Photo by Lisa Devlin,
Shakespeare’s Head near Seven Dials, before open-
whose food-photography website is cakefordinner.co.uk.
ing our own restaurant in November.
www.semolinabrighton.co.uk
....
81....
food review
...........................................
Presuming Ed
Carrot cake... on a radiator
Richard Grills, who runs Marwood, has opened
Presuming Ed, a new café on London Road. Like
Marwood, it is named after a character in the film
Withnail and I. Like Marwood it is fitted with items
paperback covers, the other has a selection of paint-
which seem to have come from Richard’s loft. Like
ings for sale by the graffiti artist Snub.
Marwood, it is a magnet for cyber-hipsters, look-
The cake is amazing, bright orange and filled and
ing for somewhere they can chew the fat between
topped with lemon cream, thus offering me half my
sessions on their MacBooks. Like Marwood, they
daily calories in one go, and, being a carrot and date
serve massive slices of seriously good-looking cake.
cake, two of my five-a-day, too. The tea is brought
I order one of these, with a cup of tea, then look
in a big red cup; the milk in a third-pint bottle, of
for somewhere interesting to sit while trying to
the sort Thatcher the Milksnatcher snatched.
work out what the music is. Someone has tastefully
There’s plenty more to talk about – the café is full
sampled Sade.
of nooks and crannies – but not in a review this
When I say ‘somewhere interesting’ I don’t mean
small. The biggest revelation comes when I realise
the view out of the window. I sit in the corner at a
my table-top radiator is actually ON. Nice touch,
table made from a radiator seemingly propped up
Richard: as I leave I take the remains of my milk
by a pile of books. One wall is papered with trashy
back, before it curdles. AL
Weddings | Functions | Corporate Events
Beautifully renovated, Long Furlong Barn is set in the picturesque South
Downs National Park just outside Worthing and within easy access of
London, Brighton and Southampton. It is fully licensed for civil ceremonies
All will combine to ensure your special day is a truly memorable occasion.
Call us: 01903 790 259
Email us: [email protected]
Visit us: www.LongFurlongBarn.co.uk
CLAPHAM | WORTHING | WEST SUSSEX | BN13 3XN
food review
...........................................
Chimney
House
Nose-to-tail excellence
“Do you want one of my ears?” asks Antonia,
and at first I’m not sure what she means. She’s
plate, and I realise that, since she’s chosen pig’s
head terrine as her starter, the object is, indeed, an
ear. I accept, and eat it like I’d eat a crisp. It’s been
deep-fried, it’s crunchy and pleasantly salty.
This sort of interaction wouldn’t go on in many
eateries in Brighton, but we’re in the Chimney
Photo by Candice Phillips
pointing her fork at an ear-shaped item on her
House, near Seven Dials, and they are becom-
I go for duck breast as a main: two hunks of pink-
ing increasingly famous (there’s been national
ish meat, with a crunchy brown skin, served on a
coverage recently) for their imaginative men.
large white plate with artfully dolloped blobs of
Chef Charlie Brookman is following something
puree and warm grapes. It’s as plump as turkey,
of a nose-to-tail philosophy and includes foraged
and significantly juicier. “That’s the best duck I’ve
items in many of his dishes.
ever tasted,” I announce, and I think I might be
It’s Saturday night, Antonia’s parents are here, and
telling the truth. I try some of Antonia’s flat-iron
we’ve needed to choose somewhere that’s going to
steak, which is pretty much as good as the duck.
be a sure-fire hit. The previous evening I’d tried
Her father goes for ‘pheasant hash’, her mother
out a restaurant we’d never been before, and it
for whiting and chips. She can’t finish the latter,
had all gone really badly. We get a table right by
so I dive in. They’re artisan chips, of course,
the open-plan kitchen, where we can see Charlie
carefully crafted into long thin salty slivers, and
and various assistants hard at work preparing
served in a metal pot. They are accompanied by
our stuff: the other side of the L-shaped space is
a tasty curry sauce, and I’m transported back to
packed with weekend drinkers and there’s a real
takeaway dinners in the north of England: not
buzz about the place.
quite as classy as Proust’s back-in-time madeleine
Things start going right when we’re brought the
moment, but what the hell.
bread, which is baked on site and tasty enough
We finish with affogato, home-made vanilla
to talk about afterwards, particularly the black
ice-cream (there’s mint on offer, too) drowned in
variety, with a Baltic crunch to it. We’re having
freshly brewed coffee. It’s a suitably fine ending:
the full works, and choose a variety of starters – I
I’m tempted to conclude this article with a ‘not
opt for cod, which comes in several semi-cooked
making pig’s ear out of it’ gag, but I’ll refrain;
flakes on a small plate. I say ‘semi’ rather than
safer to say our visit to the Chimney House, as
‘half’ here by design: the cod is not-long-dead
ever, has been a palpable hit. Alex Leith
fresh and its rawness is a boon: I’ve never tasted
28 Upper Hamilton Road, Brighton, 01273 556708,
anything like it.
dinner mains £11-£17.50
....
83....
Food & Drinkctory
Dire
71 East Street, 01273 729051 terreaterre.co.uk
Terre à Terre
Photo from the New Relish South East cookbook
As we keep mentioning, Brighton was
voted, by Conde Naste Traveller readers,
no less, ‘Best UK city for restaurants
and bars’. To celebrate, we’ve created
this space, a directory for bars, restaurants and other food-and-drink-related
establishments who wish to appear in
our ever-expanding food section, along
with our incognito reviews and head-chef
recipes. This month we’re joined by
some of our favourite eateries, in the
city and beyond. To appear in this space
in future issues please contact anya@
vivabrighton.com.
Forget the winter
blues by indulging
in a Terre à Terre
experience. The local
go-to for the most
creative vegetarian
food in Brighton and
always delivered with
a cheeky little pun!
Open 7 days a week
offering Lunch and
Dinner options from
small pates, sharing tapas to 3 course set meals
and not forgetting their magnificent afternoon
tea menu, multi- tiered savoury, sweet and traditional delights available from 3 till 5pm daily.
Sign up for their ‘Together Loyalty Card’ scheme
to collect points every time you dine and collect
double points this February!
Watch out for the New Relish South East cookbook featuring Terre à Terre available now!
01273 729051 www.terreaterre.co.uk
No.32
No.32 has it all and more in this all-in-one venue. A restaurant, bar and club in the heart of Brighton,
serving freshly made food and drink seven days a week. From traditional grills to fashionable burgers
to freshly made cocktails. With the sound of great music from local DJs you can eat, drink and dance
at this all-encompassing modern setting, so come and visit us for an evening to remember!
Burgers, grills, bites, platters, sandwiches, salads. Modern & classic cocktails. Craft & draught beers.
Happy hour Sundays - Fridays 5-7pm. No.32 is a restaurant, bar and exclusive late night venue in
Brighton with regular live music and special events.
32 Duke Street, 01273 773388, no32dukestreet.com
advertorial
6 Pool Valley, 01273 727205
Boho Gelato
Ranging from Vanilla to Violet, Mango to Mojito and Apple
to Avocado, Boho’s flavours are made daily on the premises
using locally produced milk and cream and fresh ingredients. 24 flavours are available at any time (taken from their
list of now over 400) and for vegans, Boho Gelato always
stock at least five non-dairy flavours. Gelato and sorbet
is served in cups or cones or take away boxes.They were
recently included in the Telegraph’s top 10 ice creams in the
UK and last summer were featured in Waitrose magazine.
bohogelato.co.uk
Saint Andrew’s Lane, Lewes, 01273 488600
Pelham House, Lewes
A beautiful 16th-century four-star town house
hotel that has been exquisitely restored to create an elegant venue. With beautiful gardens, a
stylish restaurant and plenty of private dining
and meeting rooms it is the perfect venue for
both small and larger parties.
www.pelhamhouse.com
Facebook: Pelham.house
Twitter: @pelhamlewes
12 York Place, 01273 671191, carlito-burrito.co.uk
Carlito Burrito
For Grub and Glory! Carlito Burrito Mexican
street food and Mezcaleria. Food and drinks from
the Gods. Brighton’s first and only Mexicanowned restaurant. Margarita heaven. Sea food
specialist. Fresh homemade corn tortillas. Festival
vibes. Mexican folk art. Life changing fish tacos.
Tunes! Best steak in Brighton. Skulls. Mexican
craft beers. Huggable staff. Gluten free. Imported
Mexican chillies and Sussex produce. Dive in or
Take away. Halloumi-nati Cult.
Ten Green Bottles
Wine shop or bar? Both, actually... wine to take away
or drink in, nibbles and food available. Many wines
imported direct from artisan producers. We also offer
relaxed, fun, informal private wine-tasting sessions from
just two people up to 30 and for any level of wine knowledge - we encourage you
to ask questions and set the pace. We also offer tastings in your home or office,
and will come to you with everything you’ll need for a fun, informative and even
competitive evening. The best-value destination for great wine in Brighton!
9 Jubilee Street, 01273 567176, tengreenbottles.com
food news
...........................................
Edible Updates
Plenty more fish
We’ve finally made
Brighton gem The
it out of miser-
Coal Shed. Dave
able January only to
Mothersill - formerly
crash into dreadful
head chef there - will
February, but there is
be relocating to the
warming news in the
new site and bringing
form of two exciting
with him his signa-
new restaurant open-
ture Modern British
ings this month.
dining style, using
Small Batch Coffee
that lovely Josper
charcoal grill that
is creating another
outpost in its mini-
Seafood platter created by Dave Mothersill
reaches extremely
empire; this time owner Brad Jacobson is teaming
high temperatures; at The Salt Room the onus
up with Nick Jerrim (formerly of the Royal Oak
will be on seafood instead of steak. We hardly
in Poynings) to open a new pub in Hove: The
need to point out it will all be freshly caught, and
Urchin, on Belfast Street. The grub is going
the menus will be innovative. The décor sounds
to revolve around shellfish, cooked and served
like it will be super chic, and the 55-seater terrace
up in gorgeous copper cataplanas (traditional
is likely to become a hotspot in the city when it
Portuguese woks) to share with mates. They’ll
(finally) warms up.
offer a wine list, but the real star of the show will
Meanwhile, Andy Lynes, Brighton-based food,
be the choice between no fewer than 100 bottled
drink and travel writer for The Times, Telegraph,
craft beers, carefully curated by Nick. Craft beer,
Independent, Guardian and Metro, author, Brighton
apparently, is a fantastic pairing with seafood, and
Food Society founder and Masterchef semi-
if you’re not sure what to choose there will be
finalist (the point we’re making is, the man knows
knowledgeable and enthusiastic staff to help out,
food), is teaming up with his son George – a pro-
like sommeliers, but for beer. The bar’s complete-
fessional chef – to bring us pop up dining event
ly refurbed interior, with reclaimed timber from
Generations. The six-course dinner includes
ships, is going to have a nautical (but nice) vibe
‘duck hearts with smoked haddock brandade’,
about it, and there are two sun-trap beer gardens
‘roast guinea fowl, confit leg and spinach pith-
outside. The aim is for it to feel like a local pub
ivier, vegetable crisps’ and pre-dessert in the form
(lucky, lucky locals), but it’s inevitably going to
of ‘Brighton gin and tonic sorbet’. Then comes
draw people from across the city.
actual dessert, ‘moscatel poached pear, madeleine
The beautifully located but previously dead
and almond praline trifle’. All of this in the cosy,
space on the ground floor of the Hilton has
lovely Marwood Café. The event is on 6 Febru-
finally received some much needed love in the
ary and you can book through tabl.com
form of The Salt Room, the sister restaurant of
Antonia Phillips @pigeonpr
....
86....
INTERVIEW
...........................................
Love Therapy
Jo Aparo, relationship expert
Compatibility doesn’t just mean liking the
Couples who can maintain affection for
same bands. There needs to be shared outlook
each other and show warmth tend to last the
too. If one person wants to stay in all the time
distance. Sometimes, when someone stops feel-
and the other likes to go out, they both need
ing the level of desire they felt at the beginning
to be happy spending time apart without
of the relationship, they push their partner
resenting the other person. In the long term,
away and all physical affection disappears. The
such fundamental differences can be hard to
other person then feels their partner doesn’t
negotiate.
want to be with them, and the relationship falls
It’s important that people question their
into a downward spiral.
expectations. I don’t think most of us are
Being a counsellor has definitely shaped my
naïve enough to think romance will be just like
understanding of love and thankfully not in a
it is in the films but we often find our expecta-
negative way! I consider it a real honour to see
tions are unrealistic in other ways. It’s not just
people at their worst and most vulnerable and
about what we expect of other people, but what
I think helping people through difficult situa-
we expect of ourselves.
tions has made me a more considerate, caring
The trick to staying in love? I honestly
person. Love can be the difference between
believe it’s about communication - not just
people feeling empty and isolated or secure and
talking but listening to the other person and
content. I believe in love as something quite
thinking about who they are and how they
profound. It is what makes us human.
see the world. Generally people come to me
Valentine’s Day is another matter. My part-
because at least one of them isn’t having their
ner and I don’t really recognise it. I don’t think
needs met and sometimes their partner
it’s useful to put too much emphasis
isn’t even aware of those needs.
on one day. Like with weddings,
Couples will sit down and talk
people have a tendency to
about household budgets but
throw everything at it and not
they don’t necessarily make
make as much effort on the
time to take stock of their
days that come after. I try
relationship. It gets pushed
to incorporate the values of
to the bottom of the list and
Valentine’s Day into every
because it’s not being addressed,
day… As told to Nione Meakin
issues tend to mount up. Regular
For more information on Joe
check-ins with your partner pre-
and his services, visit www.
vent it getting to that stage.
counsellingbrightonhove.com.
Beyond communication, I
think kindness is key.
....
87....
local hero
................................
David Samuel
Paddle Round the Pier founder
It all started when I
and we’re grateful
moved to Brighton
that Brighton and
in ’91. I’d always
Hove Buses are
loved surfing but
sponsoring it in
you never met your
2015. We work in
surf mates on dry
partnership with
land and we only
all of our sponsors
knew each other
to collectively
by names like ‘Red
put on the event
Beard’ and ‘Shout a
for the city. It’s
Lot’. I started Paddle
important that it
Round the Pier
remains free so we
beg, borrow and
to get the surfing
community together but knew I wanted to raise
steal a lot to make it happen.
some money for charity at the same time. I’m a
I was genuinely shocked when I won the Out-
great believer in everyone doing their bit, so that
standing Contribution to Sussex Award last year
first year, when just 60 of us paddled around the
but it’s not just about me - the whole Paddle Crew
Palace Pier, we did it in support of Surfers Against
make it happen. They’re our dedicated team of
Sewage. The second year there were 120 paddlers
volunteers who bring it together year after year
and 30 kayaks and we’d adopted the RNLI, who
and, after four years service, earn a place in the
we still support. It grew and grew from there, with
Paddle Ohana (Hawaiian for family). We had
the village springing up on Hove Lawns in ’97.
55,000 visitors this year but there’s no trouble. It’s
Now we support three charities every year, includ-
a very laid-back atmosphere and about enjoying
ing a local children’s charity, and have raised over
the ocean and sharing it with family and friends.
£200,000 to date.
That’s the aloha spirit.
It’s always been a water-sport-and-beach-life event
As soon as we finish one year, we’re planning for
but there really is something for all the family.
the next but first there’s the Brighton Big Balls
Our aim is for everyone to enjoy the beach and
Beach Run in May. It’s a stumble over the beach
sea safely, so we’ve added School Surf Lifesav-
and groynes (pardon the pun) carrying two giant
ing courses on our pop-up beach so that classes
balls in aid of a male cancer charity, Orchid. It’s
from any Sussex school can sign up to spend a day
all a bit ‘It’s a Knockout’, but we’ll raise a tonne of
learning basic lifesaving skills. One of the most
money in the process. The women have got ‘Race
rewarding aspects of Paddle is ‘access beach’ –
for Life’ and now the men have got ‘Big Balls’. It
where we deck a section of beach and staff it with
will be nationwide in 2016. As told to Lizzie Lower
volunteers enabling young people with disabilities
The Brighton Big Balls Charity Run is on May 10th.
to join in the fun. It’s quite a feat of engineering
Register now at www.brightonbigballs.com
....
89....
....
90....
Photos by Adam Bronkhorst
talking shop
..........................................
Rule
5 Bikes
Two wheels good
What is Rule 5? “Harden the f**k up.” Cycling
personal goals are. The more knowledge you
gurus the Velominati have a whole set of rules
have of someone’s situation, the more you can
that cyclists should follow and most of them are
help them, and I’m in the shop all the time so
very tongue-in-cheek, but in a lot of situations,
customers get to speak to the same person each
whether it’s because you’re hung-over or you’re
time they come in. With bigger shops, you’ll
cycling up a hill that’s too steep, the answer is
probably get a different person each time, so if
Rule 5. I’ve even had people tweet it at me if I’ve
you’re having a problem with your bike, they’ll
moaned on Twitter about being ill.
have to start over with trying to get to the bot-
What’s the best thing about working in a
tom of it each time.
bike shop? People never come in in a bad mood.
What do you look for when selecting prod-
Bike shopping isn’t like grocery shopping, which
ucts to stock? I support local brands as much as
you do because you have to. Cycling is a hobby
possible. I mainly stock Kinesis bikes, which are
and people come in because they want to spend
designed and prototyped in the South Downs,
money on their bike. There’s a great cycling
so if you want a bike to ride around this area you
community in Brighton - that was what drew me
really can’t get much better than that. Morvélo
to move here a few years ago – and everyone has
are a local cycle-wear brand based in the centre
been really warm and welcoming towards me.
of town, who produce clothing which keeps you
I’m really lucky to be in a trade where I get to
visible and safe, but looks good too. And they’re
talk about something I like all the time.
part of the cycling community; people know
What can you offer to customers that they
who they are, so they’re not just a faceless com-
wouldn’t get from the national bikeshop
pany. But the key thing I look for in a product is
chains? I get to build up a rapport with my
something I’d be happy to use myself.
customers. Once somebody has visited me a
Paul Hambridge interviewed by Rebecca Cunningham
few times, I can remember their bike, any work
that I’ve done to it in the past and what their
....
253d Ditchling Rd, rule5bikes.co.uk, @rule5bikes
91....
football
...............................
Steve Piper
‘Clough was really good for us’
It was like a dream come true
decline: “That was an amazing
when Brighton-born Steve Piper
experience. I really enjoyed it.
was handed his Albion debut
Happily, I missed the 8-2 defeat
against Burnley in November
to Bristol Rovers, having limped
1972. However, the Second
off after twenty minutes of the
Division season turned out to be
FA Cup replay with Walton and
a nightmare.
Hersham, before it turned into a
The 1-0 defeat was the second in
4-0 defeat.
a dismal run of thirteen consecu-
“After those dodgy results,
tive defeats. Piper, then 19, finds
things did start to turn around
it hard to explain Pat Saward’s
and I had a really good season.
team’s poor showing: “I don’t
Clough ruled by fear and got rid
know what happened. The side
of a lot of senior players such
had played so well the previous
as Eddie Spearritt and Brian
season when promoted. Now,
Powney. He didn’t take to them,
though, we clearly weren’t good
and they didn’t take to him. The
enough. I suppose Pat couldn’t
younger ones loved the new
strengthen the team enough. As
regime. We were like sponges
a manager he was good; really
soaking it up and Clough was
suave, knew his stuff, smart and
really good for us.”
sophisticated, and gave me my
Clough dealt deftly with the
chance.”
events surrounding Pat Hilton’s
Defender Piper had made the
20th birthday celebrations of
step up from the youth team,
May 1974: “A group of us had
where he had played with
gone to Sherry’s, the nightclub,
Francis Fraser, son of former
and then broke into the Gold-
Richardson gang member ‘Mad’
stone Ground with a football,
Frankie Fraser: “I got on really
drunk, and started to play there!
well with Francis. I did meet his
A few things happened, a few
dad when Brighton played a pre-
windows were smashed, and we
season match against Arsenal,
got arrested.”
and I went with them to watch.”
Pat Hilton, Terry Norton and
Inevitably, Brighton were
Mick Brown were all sacked by
relegated in 1973. Improbably,
the club, but Steve got lucky:
though, Brian Clough and Peter
“I got away with it as I was the
Taylor arrived in a blaze of pub-
only one in the first team so they
2012 before his retirement.
licity to halt the club’s continued
hushed it up for me. But I was
Kuen-Wah Cheung
....
92....
one of the perpetrators. When
we went on a pre-season tour of
Spain, Clough came up to me
and said, ‘Don’t ever get into
that kind of trouble again.’”
Clough left for Leeds United
before the 1974/75 campaign.
In two seasons, his successor at
Brighton, Peter Taylor, could
not turn Albion into a promotion-winning team. It took Alan
Mullery’s arrival to turn things
around: “His first season with
us, 1976/77, was the standout
season in my career. That’s when
everything clicked, with the
emergence of the Ward-Mellor
partnership. We were scoring goals for fun. I was moved
into midfield, and started every
match.”
Steve even scored the goal that
clinched promotion, against
Sheffield Wednesday in May
1977. He joined Portsmouth the
following February but a knee
injury cut short his career within
nine months. He worked as a
financial advisor from 1981 to
w e t r y. . .
...............................
Handball
In-yer-face fitness
“We’ll start with a warm-up. It’s tough, but you’ll
I’m fine and it didn’t really hurt anyway.
be fine.” Lena, who is running the training session
As I start to get the hang of not getting hit in the
today, is a handball enthusiast who has helped to
face, Lena moves onto teaching me some of the
grow the Brighton women’s handball group from
other techniques, like the move I refer to as the
just three members to the full team who practise
three-step-body-twist-throw, designed to give
here today. And she’s not lying about the warm-up,
maximum power to your passes. She also tells me a
it is tough. We run, and then stretch-and-run, and
bit more about the sport. “It’s huge in other Euro-
then run some more until I’m feeling quite out of
pean countries, it’s such an inclusive game and you
breath. Then we start playing.
use so many different skills – throwing, running,
The first activity is a kind of practise game, where
jumping – that it’s a great way to keep fit.”
we are split into two teams and the objective is
The club was started by Juan Reig after the 2012
to make ten consecutive passes without letting
Olympics, but until recently the numbers of female
the other team get the ball. Some of the seasoned
players have been a little low. “I am really hoping
players get very competitive and the rules of
to bring more girls into the sport. We cater for
contact are somewhat questionable, but despite my
recreational players as well as those who want to be
worries about being left out as the newcomer, a few
more competitive and be part of the team. We’re
minutes in I am engrossed in the game. And even
playing in the development league at the moment,
though I feel a little disappointed when I miss a
but with enough committed players my aim is to
few passes (I blame my contact lenses) my team are
enter the London Regional League next season.”
incredibly encouraging.
The session lasts for about two hours and I’m
Next we move onto some one-on-one throwing
pretty exhausted by the end. “So, what did you
techniques, and Lena takes me under her wing as
think?” I’m asked by some of the other girls. My
a beginner. “It’s important to put your hands out
honest answer is, I didn’t expect to enjoy it this
and keep your thumbs together in a W-shape to
much. I haven’t played sports since school but this
stop the ball from hitting you in the face. If that
was a lot more fun than I remember. In fact I’m
happens it really hurts.” And it does. The first time,
already considering joining when Lena tells me,
my eyes instantly fill with tears. The second time,
“we’ve already signed you up for next week, OK?”
I’m a little more composed and manage to keep my
Rebecca Cunningham
reaction limited to a quiet sniff, while insisting that
brightonhandball.com
....
93....
a coffee with...
................................
Richard
Robinson
All work and lots of play
“I’m just going to go off on one now – do you
says: “Constantly changing and doing something
mind?” says Brighton Science Festival founder
different, that’s surrounded me the whole time.”
Richard Robinson, about halfway through our
The first Festival, in 2005, was planned as a two-
interview, at the Mad Hatter. And later: “Oh
day thing - one for kids and one for adults - but
dear, I’m going to go off on another one now…”
since then it’s “followed Moore’s Law,” doubling
But who could object? His tangents were always
in size roughly every 18 months. “Last year it got
interesting, though usually only vaguely relevant
too big and I said we had to shrivel it down. It
to the question. He comes across as an enthusiast
had doubled in size. This year, we definitely have
for ideas, who just can’t wait to tell you about
to, because we’re in a crisis. You’ve heard about
continental drift, fractals, or cuckoo-like behav-
our crisis?
iour in the workplace.
“Well, the last festival lost what I thought was
Robinson has a voice like Hugh Laurie, and
£500. It turns out to be nearer to £5,000. This is
something about his demeanour, and sense of
my money, so I can’t let that happen again. If that
humour, reinforces the impression. Ordering a
happens again it’ll just die.”
cappuccino, he tells the barista in a concerned
In a previous interview, Robinson told me he was
tone: “I have a problem with chocolate… I
a pessimist (“an optimist can never be pleasantly
don’t get enough of it”. The guy hands over a
surprised”). So when he started the festival, did
powdered-chocolate shaker and Robinson coats
he expect it to fail? “No! Ok, so I’m not a pes-
his drink, jokily commenting on the inefficiency
simist. I’m a crazed, obsessive nut… I prepare
of the device.
for the worst and hope for the best. Every year
He’s amazingly energetic for someone who gets
at this time I’m saying ‘we’ve not got enough
up at 4.30am and goes to bed “usually by 11”.
money coming in’, and by March we just about
He spends these long days organising the sci-
have, except for this last time, when I was proved
ence festival, and writing pop-science books on
right. I knew that would happen.”
subjects including workplace anthropology and
He’s launched an appeal to save the festival, as
Murphy’s Law. And when he’s not working, “I
“I think we’ve done an awful lot of good”. He
work on something I haven’t been able to work
quotes statistics about applications to study
on up to now because I’ve been working.”
science, technology and medicine in Brighton,
In his youth, Robinson had intended to become
which suggest he may have achieved one of his
an artist, but took a psychology degree, then
key aims: getting kids interested in science.
became a busker, doing a political puppet show
Robinson hates how exam-focused science
which helped inspire Spitting Image. He later
education is, and recalls, when he was 12, sitting
did science demonstrations at primary schools,
through science classes which involved “making
worked in children’s TV, and used his own mon-
sure there were two p’s in apparatus, underlining
ey to set up the Brighton Science Festival. He
things twice, writing neatly...
....
94....
“The next year, there was a new
teacher. In biology, he showed
us some leaves in a test tube of
water. This was a flashbulb moment. There were bubbles of gas
on the leaves. He said: ‘What are
they then?’ And we said ‘I don’t
know’, preparing for the answer.
He said: ‘Well, you’d better find
out, hadn’t you?’ We had to put
down our pens and paper, and
just poked around until we found
out the answer. From then on,
Photo by Adam Bronkhorst
as far as I know, I didn’t do any
more science until past A-level.
“I remember going to the Geology Museum, when I was a kid,
with my mum. It was full of bits
of stone, and long Latin names
and pictures of people with long
with stuff, poke it, play, make
making mistakes is vital. Getting
beards and axes standing next to
mistakes, blunder about, make
things wrong is part of the path.
these bits of stone, and I thought:
smells, make explosions.’ And
Samuel Beckett said: ‘Try, fail, try
‘This is really dull.’ I was dragged
stuff would get destroyed, but
again, fail better’. The process of
there unwillingly.
children would be built.”
failing better has been what I’ve
“Thirty years later I was dragged
That kind of experimentation
been doing all these years. I hope
unwillingly to the Science
doesn’t help you pass exams, but
I’ve got many more years ahead
Museum by my son, and it was
it’s crucial, Robinson argues.
of me, because I have a lot more
full of earthquakes and cosmic
“When you’re farting about, you
failing to do yet.”
collisions and planets and lights
discover what things don’t work,
Steve Ramsey
and twinkling stars, and it was
and it’s only by eliminating the
The Brighton Science Festival
interactive and really good fun.
things that don’t work that you
runs from 5th Feb to 1st March.
“A big change had happened in
discover what does work. The
For the full line-up, or to donate,
between. It started in San Fran-
idea that you go straight for the
see brightonscience.com. Robin-
cisco in the 60s and 70s; they
correct answer is quite wrong.
son’s latest book is My Manager
said ‘let kids roam around, play
“All the great scientists say that
and Other Animals.
....
95....
bricks and mortar
...............................
Wykeham Terrace
Once the home of Brighton’s ‘fallen women’
It’s impossible to pass
infiltrated by a
Wykeham Terrace
small group of
without at least a
anarchists’. Things
flicker of curiosity
turned nasty, culmi-
about its history. Lo-
nating in firebombs
cated at the bottom
and arrests.
of Dyke Road with St
When the TA even-
Nicholas Church to
tually sold Wyke-
one side and Church-
ham Terrace on to a
ill Square to the
property developer,
other, its grey gabled
most of the original
features had been
Illustration by Joda jonydaga.weebly.com
houses are partly
hidden by a large wall, giving it an air of mys-
destroyed, but copies of fireplaces, mouldings and
tery. This came in handy in the 1850s, when the
shutters were installed in their place and English
houses Amon Wilds had designed some 20 years
Heritage went on to award the homes a Grade II
previously were commandeered by the church and
listing. Famous residents have included theatre
turned into a refuge for Brighton’s large popula-
star Flora Robson – who lived on the terrace with
tion of ‘fallen women’.
her two sisters and whose home is decorated with
Overseen by the Rev Arthur Wagner, of St Paul’s
a blue plaque - music producer David Courtney,
Church in nearby West Street, the evocatively
singer Adam Faith and historian Sir Roy Strong.
named St Mary’s Home for Female Penitents
These days, the terrace is home to what Mr Fisher
lasted well into the 1890s, by which time it had
describes as “a pleasant community of retired
expanded to take in disabled, destitute and elderly
neighbours and professionals, including an author.
women as well. There were reportedly nearly 300
Gay or straight we all respect and get on well
people living there before the home was relocated
together.” The turbulence of the last century seems
to Rottingdean at the turn of the century.
to have settled, although Mr Fisher notes that the
After some years the Territorial Army moved in,
residents’ association is currently opposing a ‘con-
taking over the genteel terrace to provide housing
tentious’ planning application for a hotel in Queen
for its soldiers from around 1915 up until the
Square, at the back of Wykeham Terrace. They
1970s. When Michael Fisher, chair of the residents’
have also been ‘vociferous’ in their feelings towards
association, moved into number nine around 25
the various nightclubs at 11 Dyke Road, a building
years ago, he found swatches of army camouflage
that’s thankfully now occupied by the Rialto thea-
paint on the plasterwork.
tre. Residents – understandably – are protective of
Others perhaps chose to remember Wykeham
their peaceful city centre enclave. “It has a distinct
Terrace from a greater distance. When the army
sense of the past and a calm ambience,” explains
decided to move on at the end of the 1960s it
Mr Fisher. “I’ve just turned 70 and as long as I can
was taken over by squatters from the Brighton
climb the four flights of stairs, I’m here to stay.”
Rents Project which, The Argus reports, had ‘been
Nione Meakin
....
96....
bricks and mortar
...............................
Old Police
Cells Museum
The warden threw a party in the city jail
“The mods and rockers
know what to do with.”
were the last great group of
In 2004, after the mayor decided
incumbents. The policemen
to turn it into a museum, vol-
wouldn’t have worried about
unteers cleared out 16 skipfuls
the niceties of giving them a
of rubbish, and a permanent
bed, and having only four or
exhibition was put together.
six to a cell - they probably
The most prominent exhibit in
just put about ten of each in
the women-and-children’s cells
a cell overnight and let them
is an impressive-and-dangerous-
stew in it.”
looking set of truncheons from
This is Phil Meeson from the
around the country. At least one
Old Police Cells Museum,
of these is embossed with a pat-
showing me round the part of
tern; it would leave a distinctive
the Town Hall building that
mark on any suspect hit with it,
served as Brighton’s police
so they could be identified later.
station from 1830 to 1967.
The men’s cells include a
He points out some large
mocked-up crime scene,
writing carved into the wall
uniforms, a Tardis-like police
of a cell, which says ‘Dave the Rocker’ was an in-
box, a model of the bombed-out Grand Hotel, and
mate on June 8th, 1964. “He came back two years
equipment for photofits and fingerprint dusting.
ago, with his children and grandchildren.”
It’s certainly very interesting. But would you want
One set of cells was for men, the other housed
to get married here?
women and children. Inmates could roam in the
The place has been licensed as a wedding venue
corridor, or use the bathroom, during the day; at
since last September. Ceremonies can be held in
night, they were locked in their cells, which didn’t
the male-cells area, which can seat 30-40 people.
have toilets or running water. “It was all done by
“It’s all been mapped out, where chairs would be,
buckets and slopping out, even up until 1967.”
where the registrar would be...”
By that point, the place was so outdated that
“You can tie the knot in so many locations now,
inmates “would have probably thought ‘blimey,
and the registrars here thought it was a very quirky
this is a real old place, it’s like a museum anyway’,”
opportunity: as well as doing the ceremony we can
Phil says. When closed down, it had barely been
handcuff the couple together, we can lock them up,
upgraded since being built 137 years before.
and give their guests a tour.
Despite having been declared “unfit to be used as
“So far we’ve had no actual confirmed bookings,
a police station” in 1929, Phil says, it had “lingered
but we have had two or three serious inquiries.
on” till 1967. That year, Brighton Police merged
People are very interested.” Steve Ramsey
with Sussex Police, and moved to John Street.
See oldpolicecellsmuseum.org.uk for opening times,
The old station was then “used by the council for
etc. To ask about weddings, contact
storage, for old files, furniture, anything they didn’t
[email protected].
....
97....
Photo by Ray Renolds, courtesy of Helen Reddington
inside left: joby and the hooligans
...................................................................................
Meet Joby and the Hooligans, one of Brighton’s early punk bands, shot while practising in the burial vaults
underneath what was then the Brighton Resource Centre, on North Road. “It was taken early in 1977,” says
Helen Reddington [punk name Helen McCookerybook, left], “even then I was thinking ‘I don’t know why
I’m bothering, it [the punk scene] is all over…’” It was far from so in Brighton, as said vaults became the
centre of a booming scene out of which grew the ‘Vaultage’ series of albums, featuring such bands as The
Piranhas, Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Nicky and the Dots, The Golinski Brothers and another band
featuring Helen, The Chefs. The Hooligans, like most such bands, was formed out of a group of friends deciding to get involved in the fun – Helen started playing the bass because she was ‘quiet’, and it seemed the
least obtrusive role in the band. She took to it well, eventually buying a bass that had belonged to Buzzcock
Steve Diggle, using money she’d earmarked for a motorbike she’d been saving up for. “Vi Subversa from the
Poison Girls was very influential on the scene,” says Helen. “She opened up the space for the bands to play;
every time another band formed, they just opened up another vault. I think there were 56 bands practicing
there in the end, and playing gigs. The Buzzcocks played a gig there once, in fact, not long after this picture
was taken.” It was a macabre venue, which seemed perfect for the scene, even though things could get a
little grisly. “In one of our gigs a child’s coffin was used to collect money,” remembers Helen. “Our guitarist
had nightmares for years about that.” The Hooligans never made it big, but The Chefs – who she sang for
- became popular. Their everyday-life ditties, with titles like Thrush and 24 Hours, were played frequently
on John Peel’s influential late-night Radio 1 show. The Chefs moved to London in 1979 – by that time the
Brighton punk scene was starting to fizzle out; a process which was accelerated after the Resource Centre
was burnt down in 1980, and the vaults beneath closed up for good. AL
....
98....
THE ARCHITECT SAYS WE NEED LIGHTING.
THE CLIENT SAYS AT FLOOR LEVEL.
We say, how bright?
Middle Yard Barn, Lambleys Lane, Sompting,West Sussex, BN14 9JX
Telephone: 01903 217 900 Telephone: 01273 622 191
email: [email protected]
Nutshell Construction
CONSTRUCTION, RENOVATION AND RESTORATION.