The Area 11 A.A. Newsletter A Meditation On 25 Years’ Sobriety Looking over the last quarter century, of the “sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” manner of adapting to a sober life, I admit that I traveled in the breakdown lane. The Promises of AA have nevertheless come true for me, no matter how lethargically they arrived. I know new freedoms: from alcohol and drugs; from harmful relationships, friendly and romantic; from self-hatred, with interruptions. My happiness is also new. Though I am basically cheery, happiness once depended upon the acquisition of things: a career, a handsome partner, and a house. Now, my happiness is occasioned by closeness to a Higher Power and those relationships which bring me closer to it. I’ve found these on my farm, with my horses, and in the stars above the pasture. I’ve also found these in helping other alcoholics. I do not regret the past. Instead, I am grateful for all the events. They gave me a compelling AA story, after all. I remember the past when I am tempted to make similar mistakes today. The tendency to do this has not gone away. Despite diligent work in AA, I still have character defects and act out on them. Recalling where they got me before sometimes averts a backslide into the same behavior. My experience has benefited others in sponsorship, speaking, and service. I prayed for some years just to be useful, and I was, albeit not appreciated; the lack of appreciation was meaningless. I came in with a hatful of self-pity. I rarely feel sorry for myself now. As Tony S. used to say, “I have more of everything I need than I need, and most of what I want, too.” When I arrived in 1990, my outlook was bleak. It is now hopeful. My attitude changed from judgment to acceptance, mostly. I fear economic insecurity, although I am not economically insecure. Go figure. I used to be afraid of everything. Gone are the pounding heart and sweating palms, the brain that fogs over like a winter windshield. (continued on page 2) WWW.CT-AA.ORG Vol. 24 No. 3 April - May 2015 Psst... ‘Service is the Secret’... Pass It On! My first service sponsor seemed to mention, “service is the secret” every time I saw him share at the podium or on a panel. When he’d say it a few scattered heads would nod in agreement. Not very many. Not as many as, say, when someone says, “you’re only as sick as your secrets,” or “you don’t know what you don’t know.” “Service is the secret” certainly didn’t get the “yeps” that most of our slogans often receive. Up until about a year ago, I would not have identified with the phrase myself, because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Today, I know. “Service is the secret to what?” you may be asking. Well, much like our individual conceptions of god, I believe the answer is different for everyone. For me, service has profoundly changed my life. Two years ago, at eight years sober, I was full of self-pity and loathing, and I was wallowing in a pretty dark place. I felt lost and alone, so I went to my AA toolbox and picked up more meetings. Then, I picked up the General Service Representative (GSR) commitment for my home group. From there, I was nominated and elected to represent my District for the Area 11 Convention. While on that committee I met people from all over the state. At the time, I was completely ignorant of the AA service structure. I very quickly became fascinated with it. One night, while reading The A.A. Service Manual, I was having difficulty following it because I was in my head feeling sorry for myself again. Then I got the idea (or rather my Higher Power inspired me) to pick up the Twelve Steps & Twelve Concepts. I began reading the Traditions for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long. While reading Tradition One I began to tear up. I sent a text to a friend asking if that was a weird reaction. His response, “I’ve cried.” Sure enough, by the end of Tradition Three I was sobbing. I mean barely-catch-my breath kind of crying because I was so overcome with gratitude and love for this program. I had absolutely no business feeling sorry for myself! For the first (continued on page 2) WWW.AA.ORG Alcohol Stunts Your Growth (...continued from page 1 “A Meditation on 25 Years”) Situations which once confounded me – how to be a friend, how to act socially, how to deal with someone who was abusive, how to be of help, how to work with others – these are all things I have encountered. Oh, no! Not another learning experience! I have acquired grace and patience. My sponsor reminds me, “You need do nothing.” How right she is. The God of my understanding has changed from a rigorously defined entity to simply a power greater than myself, on which I depend for help with the smallest and most enormous things. It does for me what I cannot do for myself, always. Whenever the Promises are read in a meeting, when we affirm that they are not extravagant, I always say, “Heck, no.” They are not extravagant promises, but AA has produced extravagant, beautiful, magnificent results, a day at a time, for a great many days. I am so grateful for my sobriety. -Amy G. (...continued from page 1 “Service Is The Secret”) time, I truly grasped the magnitude of AA and its Legacies, and understood my responsibility to carry the message. I remembered how blessed I was to be a part of such an awesome fellowship, and clearly saw God’s hand in every aspect of our 36 principles (The Steps, Traditions and Concepts). I felt my Higher Power’s presence like never before and I realized that I was embarking on a new spiritual journey. From that moment on, I have committed to working with a service sponsor to educate myself on what I consider the “forgotten Legacies,” Unity and Service. My experience has been that many members have little working knowledge of them. My experience has also taught me that living in one aspect of the program is not enough for me to remain spiritually fit. If I am to be whole, I must walk in all three Legacies. For me, “service is the secret” has meant rekindling my love of the program, broadening my horizon, connecting me with like-minded people, discovering my passion, and giving me new purpose. The few years prior to this awareness I was living in a complacent fog. Today, thanks to AA service, the fog has lifted, and I feel as if I have finally awakened to the sunlight of the spirit. Service is where I find my joy. Try it! But when you do, don’t keep it a secret… Pass it on! -Amy M., DCM District 1-3 WWW.CT-AA.ORG When I was drinking, I was often rude, angry and unpleasant to be around. I could be emotionally abusive to my friends and loved ones. I was selfish. It’s not that I tried to steal all the toys, but I would not share and play nice with others. You could find me in the dictionary under “selfless” – Not! Now that I am not drinking, I can still be rude and unpleasant, and, yes, angry. But today I know when I am not acting sober, and I try to make amends. Before AA, I thought my way of life was fitting and proper, with me in the center. Today, Higher Power is at the center, and I know I am expected to be gentle and kind and always ready to be of service. I have changed. Once alcohol was no longer blocking me from seeing what sort of person I was, I could start the process of changing from egotistical and self-centered into someone not willing to be that person. Someone you could trust. Someone who wanted to meet your family, your friends, and to be of service to you, the fellowship and the world. And someday, God willing, I will become that man. But for today, I am following the program, working the Steps, doing service, and growing toward a future that I could not see when I was drunk. -Richard B. Practicing the Eleventh Step Practicing our 11th step meditation is not just about finding quiet time. It is about starting to find a quiet mind. The Problem 1. 2. 3. 4. We are way too busy. We think we can’t find quiet time. It’s not a quick fix. This does take time. There is no end. We like an ending; we like to graduate. The Solution: Focus on one thing at a time. When I’m at a meeting I’m focused and after the meeting I feel better. When I’m “in the now” and focused I always feel better. I like to start my meditation in a quiet place. Choose a special place, either indoors or outdoors, so that when you sit down you know it’s about meditation, quiet, being still and knowing God. WWW.AA.ORG Sit with your back straight and your feet on the floor. Close your eyes, rest, and just breathe in and out softly, knowing in your mind that with the in-breath you are quiet, and with the out-breath you are still. There is no need to say anything, just think “quiet and still…quiet and still.” I know every time I experience a meditation that seems to work, I feel great. I had no idea that I would ever be able to sit still and enjoy it. Be grateful – be mindful – be still. –Anonymous Humility In Long-Term Sobriety Grateful in retirement and sober for twenty-nine years, I am still learning lessons in humility. My sober life and retirement have allowed me to spend extended periods of time in Maine. My wife and I have a small cottage there and enjoy the quiet of the wooded site with the sound of the ocean surf nearby. In an attempt to extend my AA family to this area, I started by attending many meetings there. There were enough meetings around that, with a drive of fifteen or twenty miles, I could attend a meeting or more every day of the week. Over the first few weeks, I would find the meetings I liked the most, meet new people, and establish a support group and AA family in those meetings. I found that though the meeting formats, locations, and people were different, the Steps and Traditions of AA are there to preserve the simple tools and Fellowship needed for me to stay sober and continue this life I have been blessed with. I walked into a morning meeting in a neighboring town and was greeted by a pleasant woman who asked if I would read “How it Works.” I agreed. It’s one of my favorite things. It was a closed discussion meeting, with the chairperson qualifying for ten or fifteen minutes, after which the meeting was opened up to the floor for discussion. After a couple of minutes (I guess realizing that I was a new face with a new story) the woman approached me again and asked if I would take the meeting. Again I agreed, and headed for the front of the room to take my place at the table facing the group. The woman, Karen, came down to the table and said “I’m sorry I should have asked how long you have been sober.” With an air of nonchalance to assure her she had not made a mistake, I said, “oh, almost thirty years.” An old timer in the front row, Bill, said “Almost thirty years. Sounds like 29 to me.” WWW.CT-AA.ORG Touché Bill. Another lesson in humility received. I always get something to take home from a meeting -Grayson C., Barkhamsted CT La humildad en la sobriedad a largo plazo Agradecido en el retiro y sobrio por veintinueve años, todavía estoy aprendiendo lecciones de humildad. Mi vida sobria y mi retiro me han permitido pasar periodos de tiempo extendidos en Maine. Mi esposa y yo tenemos una pequeña cabaña allá y disfrutamos la tranquilidad de la vista al bosque con el sonido del oleaje cercano. En un intento de extender mi familia de AA a esta área, yo comencé por asistir a varias reuniones allá. Habían suficientes reuniones alrededor que, conduciendo a quince o veinte millas, yo podía asistir a una reunión o más cada día de la semana. Durante las primeras cuantas semanas, yo encontraría las reuniones que más me gustaban, conocería a personas nuevas, y establecería un grupo de apoyo y una familia de AA allá. Encontré que aunque los formatos de las reuniones, los locales, y las personas eran diferentes, los Pasos y las Tradiciones de AA están allí para preservar las herramientas simples y el compañerismo necesario para que yo me mantenga sobrio y continúe con esta vida bendecida que he recibido. Entré a una reunión de la mañana en un pueblo vecino y fui recibido por una mujer agradable que me pidió que leyera “Cómo funciona.” Yo estuve de acuerdo. Es una de mis cosas favoritas. Era una reunión de discusión cerrada, permitiéndole al coordinador diez o quince minutos, después de los cuales se abrió la reunión al pleno para la discusión. Después de unos cuantos minutos (supongo que dándose cuenta que yo era el nuevo rostro con una nueva historia) la señora se dirigió hacia mí nuevamente y me dio la palabra en la reunión. Nuevamente yo estuve de acuerdo, y fui hacia el frente del salón para tomar mi lugar en la mesa viendo hacia el grupo. La mujer, Karen, se acercó a la mesa y dijo, “Disculpe, yo debí haberle preguntado cuánto tiempo tiene de sobriedad.” Con un aire de indiferencia para asegurarle que ella no había cometido un error, yo dije, “o, casi treinta años.” Un veterano en la primera fila, Bill, dijo “Casi treinta años. A mí me suenan como 29.” Bien dicho Bill. Otra lección de humildad recibida. Siempre tengo algo que llevarme a casa después de una reunión. -Grayson C., Barkhamsted CT WWW.AA.ORG P.A.U.S.E. ROUND-UP 41 It says in Step Eleven in the Big Book to pause when agitated or doubtful. I also need to pause when too excited or trustful. The Buddha teaches that life is impermanent. With this in mind, I developed this acronym to guide me on my way: Sunday April 12, 2015 8:30 AM - 3:30 PM Stratford Academy Johnson House 719 Birdseye St. Stratford, CT $10 preregistration/ $12 registration www.ct-aa.org for more details P – Peaceful A – Acceptance U – Understanding S – Stressful E – Emotions District 4 Gratitude Breakfast Saturday, April 18, 2015 9 am - 12 pm St. Therese Church 105 Leetes Island Rd. Branford, CT For more info contact: Kenny Mc at 203-467-2331 Spring Assembly -John O., New Britain CT May 17, 2015 9 am - 1 pm Knights of Columbus 2630 Whitney Ave, Hamden CT We Want To Hear From You! Submit Articles, Photos, Letters, Suggestions and Constructive Criticism: Soberfest 2015 June 5 - 7, 2015 Odetah Campgrounds, Bozrah CT Registration form online For more info, email [email protected] • Email: [email protected] • Mail: Alki-Line, 112 E. Main St, Meriden, CT 06450 • Hand material to a GSR This newsletter is by and for alcoholics; however, we review submissions by all interested in the AA program of recovery. Material may be edited for clarity and length. This newsletter and earlier issues can be downloaded at www.ct-aa.org. WWW.CT-AA.ORG WWW.AA.ORG
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